I figured in addition to the large List of Dumb
columns that run a couple of times a month it’d be good to give folks a
daily dose, since there’s absolutely no shortage of dumb shit out there
in the world. Help keep this thing going by sending your DUMBS to me
through THIS LINK.
Also, please spread the word through your Tweets and Facebook and
MySpace updates. Though CHUD.com’s not for everyone, stuff like this is!
11/03 – BIG OTIK.
Photo by Brian Macdonald.
As far as famous monsters go, he’s low on the totem pole. But we still love him.
The first time I heard of Lumber Dick, it was during a trip to Boulder, Colorado. There had been some disturbances in the woods, deer gone missing, bears with splinters in their womb, an overturned Bed & Breakfast, and the sensual desecration of a Newman’s Own factory. Authorites had claimed vandals were on the prowl, but the locals knew better. All signs pointed to some sort of mythological/scatological being roaming the forest putting things to task with its oaken member.
Then, a blurry photograph was taken of Lumber Dick. Someone got close to the then-unknown creature. It takes a lot of balsa to do that. But a photograph was indeed took. Luckily, the hunter had one of them panoramic cameras.
Lumber Dick!
Lumber Dick has been with us for many years now, who wood have thunk it? Anyone wishing to send birthday wishes to Lumber Dick, he can be reached at his hospice at Cedar-Sinai.