A while back, I tried to start my very first blog and failed miserably. Not having anything to write about can be counterproductive.
Anyway, I started a series of posts about weird things that happened to me in Australia, written in screenplay format. Since I abandoned that blog, I only wrote two entries of that series.
I’m currently missing Australia with cruel desperation, so I thought I’d post those entries here. They are silly memories of my time in the land of Oz.
The following mini screenplays are, in no way, examples of how to properly write a screenplay, and since I wasn’t able to make Scrippets work for this site, they are also not properly formatted.
For the most part they make no sense at all, but if you’re bored, have a read.
Conversations about nothing, vol 1 – Brisbane Forest Park fire hazard… or lack of.
INT. LIVINGROOM – NIGHT
In the dark, spacious living room, NATALIA, MELISSA, ROY and SHIVANGI rest quietly, watching tv. Aside from the lights coming from the large tv, everything – and everyone – is completely immobile.
NATALIA
Is something burning?
MELISSA, ROY, SHIVANGI
No.
NATALIA
mmm…
Roy stands up and exits the living room, causing absolutely no reaction on the others.
He returns with a didgeridoo and a chair.
He sits down and plays the didge.
MELISSA
I smell smoke.
SHIVANGI
Me too!
NATALIA
I told you.
The front door swings open. ROBIN enters, drops his bag on the floor, and shuts the door.
MELISSA
Hey, did you see smoke
coming up?
ROBIN
Yeah. There’s a fire at
the Brisbane Forest Park.
The wind’s blowing our way,
too.
ROY
Shit, we’re dead.
Robin sits with the others. They all watch tv.
Moments later:
ROBIN
Should we pack our bags or
something?
NATALIA, MELISSA, SHIVANGI
No.
A SMOKE ALARM screams loudly in the background. Natalia stands up.
NATALIA
Shit, I think that one’s
mine.
ROY
I guess you’ll be the
first to go.
Everyone laughs.
INT. NATALIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Natalia and Roy enter the room. They flinch at the smoke alarm’s HIGH PITCHED BEEP, covering their ears.
Roy hops on the bed and works on the smoke alarm.
Finally, he makes it stop.
NATALIA
Hey, it smells like
barbeque!
ROY
It smells like pot.
NATALIA
Then at least we’ll die
happy.
They burst out laughing.
SHIVANGI (O.S.)
Guys, come outside!
EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT
A thick cloud of black smoke hovers over the street of the peaceful suburban neighborhood as the housemates run out of the house.
Roy stands in the middle of the street with his didge in hand.
Robin does a little clown dance.
ROBIN
(smiling)
We’re going to die!
Melissa, Natalia and Shivangi fake scream and laugh.
Roy pretends to play the didge.
He then lifts up the didge in the air and strikes a warrior pose.
ROY
If I throw this, will it
come back and hit me on
the head?
They burst out laughing.
Moments later, as the cloud of smoke slowly continues its trajectory, the housemates fall silent.
Shivangi fidgets with her fingers, takes a quick look at the house.
SHIVANGI
I’m bored. Let’s go.
And so the housemates quietly march back to the house as the smoke dissipates.
THE END
***
Conversations about nothing vol. 2 – Or a reason why weird people remind me of Australia
EXT. EDWARD STREET BUS STOP – DAY
NATALIA languidly walks among the mid-day crowd, eyes deep in their sockets. She carries a backpack that seems to weight a ton.
Natalia finally reaches an empty bench, plops down on it. She places the backpack on the cement, between her feet.
Sunlight hits her face. She turns away.
Her eyes focus on the rice ball stand inside the 7/11 right behind her. She puts her arms around her belly and cringes in pain.
An ASIAN WOMAN sits beside Natalia, fiddles about a bit.
ASIAN WOMAN
You a good girl!
NATALIA
Excuse me?
ASIAN WOMAN
You a nice girl. I can tell.
The Asian Woman, with teeth that make Big Bird look pale, smiles widely. Natalia recoils in her corner of the bench and nervously smiles back.
NATALIA
Okay.
The Asian Woman turns away, distracted.
Natalia slowly reaches for her backpack when:
ASIAN WOMAN
Don´t get a boyfriend. You a good
girl. Man are bad. They spread
disease.
NATALIA
(alarmed)
Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.
ASIAN WOMAN
Do you have a boyfriend?
NATALIA
No.
Natalia shuts her eyes tightly and mutters – –
NATALIA(CONT’D)
Fuck!
She smiles faintly at the Asian Woman.
NATALIA(CONT’D)
I don’t.
ASIAN WOMAN
Good! I knew you a good girl.
The 385 Bus arrives. Natalia takes her backpack and stands up.
NATALIA
Have a good day, ma’am.
ASIAN WOMAN
I go to hospital. I take the bus
with you.
NATALIA
Okay!
Natalia quickly walks to the bus. Her face turns ghostly pale.
INT. BUS 385 – DAY
Inside the half full bus, Natalia sits quietly on an isle sit, staring blankly at nothing. Beside her, the Asian Woman looks out the window.
ASIAN WOMAN
I go to hospital. So you know where
it is?
NATALIA
(startled)
No. Sorry.
The Asian Woman falls silent for what seems like an eternity.
Natalia sighs. The color returns to her face. Suddenly–
ASIAN WOMAN
Do you have a boyfriend?
NATALIA
No.
The Asian Woman moves her face towards Natalia’s until their about and inch apart. Natalia’s eyes open widely in fear.
ASIAN WOMAN
(quietly angry)
Never get boyfriend! Man can hurt
you. And don’t get pregnant. Okay?
NATALIA
Okay.
ASIAN WOMAN
(smiling)
Good!
The Asian Woman’s smile fades as she returns to her position and looks out the window.
NATALIA
Huh!
Natalia sees The Gap Village sign. She takes her backpack and readies to get off the bus when the Asian Woman grabs Natalia’s arm.
ASIAN WOMAN
I stay here. Have a great life! And
remember, don’t get boyfriend.
NATALIA
Okay. You too!
The Asian Woman exits the bus and sits on the bus stop bench.
Natalia, relieved, closes her eyes and rests her head against the window as the bus drives away.
THE END
Note: Re-edited multiple times because attempting to format screenplays in HTML is a bloody nightmare!!