A while back, I tried to start my very first blog and failed miserably. Not having anything to write about can be counterproductive.
Anyway, I started a series of posts about weird things that happened to me in Australia, written in screenplay format. Since I abandoned that blog, I only wrote two entries of that series.
I’m currently missing Australia with cruel desperation, so I thought I’d post those entries here. They are silly memories of my time in the land of Oz.
The following mini screenplays are, in no way, examples of how to properly write a screenplay, and since I wasn’t able to make Scrippets work for this site, they are also not properly formatted.
For the most part they make no sense at all, but if you’re bored, have a read.
Conversations about nothing, vol 1 – Brisbane Forest Park fire hazard… or lack of.
INT. LIVINGROOM – NIGHT
In the dark, spacious living room, NATALIA, MELISSA, ROY and SHIVANGI rest quietly, watching tv. Aside from the lights coming from the large tv, everything – and everyone – is completely immobile.
Is something burning?
MELISSA, ROY, SHIVANGI
Roy stands up and exits the living room, causing absolutely no reaction on the others.
He returns with a didgeridoo and a chair.
He sits down and plays the didge.
I smell smoke.
I told you.
The front door swings open. ROBIN enters, drops his bag on the floor, and shuts the door.
Hey, did you see smoke
Yeah. There’s a fire at
the Brisbane Forest Park.
The wind’s blowing our way,
Shit, we’re dead.
Robin sits with the others. They all watch tv.
Should we pack our bags or
NATALIA, MELISSA, SHIVANGI
A SMOKE ALARM screams loudly in the background. Natalia stands up.
Shit, I think that one’s
I guess you’ll be the
first to go.
INT. NATALIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Natalia and Roy enter the room. They flinch at the smoke alarm’s HIGH PITCHED BEEP, covering their ears.
Roy hops on the bed and works on the smoke alarm.
Finally, he makes it stop.
Hey, it smells like
It smells like pot.
Then at least we’ll die
They burst out laughing.
Guys, come outside!
EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT
A thick cloud of black smoke hovers over the street of the peaceful suburban neighborhood as the housemates run out of the house.
Roy stands in the middle of the street with his didge in hand.
Robin does a little clown dance.
We’re going to die!
Melissa, Natalia and Shivangi fake scream and laugh.
Roy pretends to play the didge.
He then lifts up the didge in the air and strikes a warrior pose.
If I throw this, will it
come back and hit me on
They burst out laughing.
Moments later, as the cloud of smoke slowly continues its trajectory, the housemates fall silent.
Shivangi fidgets with her fingers, takes a quick look at the house.
I’m bored. Let’s go.
And so the housemates quietly march back to the house as the smoke dissipates.
Conversations about nothing vol. 2 – Or a reason why weird people remind me of Australia
EXT. EDWARD STREET BUS STOP – DAY
NATALIA languidly walks among the mid-day crowd, eyes deep in their sockets. She carries a backpack that seems to weight a ton.
Natalia finally reaches an empty bench, plops down on it. She places the backpack on the cement, between her feet.
Sunlight hits her face. She turns away.
Her eyes focus on the rice ball stand inside the 7/11 right behind her. She puts her arms around her belly and cringes in pain.
An ASIAN WOMAN sits beside Natalia, fiddles about a bit.
You a good girl!
You a nice girl. I can tell.
The Asian Woman, with teeth that make Big Bird look pale, smiles widely. Natalia recoils in her corner of the bench and nervously smiles back.
The Asian Woman turns away, distracted.
Natalia slowly reaches for her backpack when:
Don´t get a boyfriend. You a good
girl. Man are bad. They spread
Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.
Do you have a boyfriend?
Natalia shuts her eyes tightly and mutters – –
She smiles faintly at the Asian Woman.
Good! I knew you a good girl.
The 385 Bus arrives. Natalia takes her backpack and stands up.
Have a good day, ma’am.
I go to hospital. I take the bus
Natalia quickly walks to the bus. Her face turns ghostly pale.
INT. BUS 385 – DAY
Inside the half full bus, Natalia sits quietly on an isle sit, staring blankly at nothing. Beside her, the Asian Woman looks out the window.
I go to hospital. So you know where
The Asian Woman falls silent for what seems like an eternity.
Natalia sighs. The color returns to her face. Suddenly–
Do you have a boyfriend?
The Asian Woman moves her face towards Natalia’s until their about and inch apart. Natalia’s eyes open widely in fear.
Never get boyfriend! Man can hurt
you. And don’t get pregnant. Okay?
The Asian Woman’s smile fades as she returns to her position and looks out the window.
Natalia sees The Gap Village sign. She takes her backpack and readies to get off the bus when the Asian Woman grabs Natalia’s arm.
I stay here. Have a great life! And
remember, don’t get boyfriend.
Okay. You too!
The Asian Woman exits the bus and sits on the bus stop bench.
Natalia, relieved, closes her eyes and rests her head against the window as the bus drives away.
Note: Re-edited multiple times because attempting to format screenplays in HTML is a bloody nightmare!!