Please send letters. Writes:

Hey man. Long time reader of Chud here,
you guys run the best film-news site on the net. I love it.

As you know, there comes a time in
every man’s life when he must take a stand. Now is that time. It’s time
for all of us to take a stand against these ridiculously irritating new breed
of pop-up ads that make ass-warts seem like a minor nuisance.

Now I’m not the first to bitch
about this, but something has got to be done about these things. I understand
they’re a necessary evil, and they’re what keep sites like yours going. But
this is a monster that is growing far too large. These ads that blow up and
take over my entire screen or start blasting sounds out of my speakers, all
while I’m burning out my retinas trying to find the microscopic X to
close the fucking thing, are absolutely out of control.

The latest example is Vacancy. This is
a flick I could’ve gone either way with at first. It looked halfway decent, and
was getting some good word of mouth. But let me tell you, after having that
fucking huge ad expand over my entire screen and block the pages I’m reading 6
badillion times over the past 2 weeks, I was sick of it before it even came

Obviously I know none of this is under
your control. But maybe if enough webmasters start letting these people know
that these overbearing ads are not necessarily giving them the positive
exposure they’re looking for, we can put a stop to this.

And a quick sidenote, what’s up with

Nick Replies: Pop-Ups, Pop-Unders, Skyscrapers, Banners, Interstitials, Advertorials, and all the other things of their ilk are quite simply a part of the deal. I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry. We are growing up and that stuff requires dough. I promise that when we finally get the redesign complete (it’s progressing pretty well) the ads will be more creatively and organically part of the site. Also, the ease of navigation will make the experience better. Our ad firm, Gorilla Nation (who doesn’t own us, that was a misunderstanding I apologize about. They are our ad film and when we’re lucky our sexual partners) has to keep on the cutting edge of advertising and I’m willing to piss folks off if it allows us to grow and keep folks like Devin and Mr. Beaks in the latest in fashion. As for MEG, the ol’ shark is living up to its heritage as a stubborn survivor. The most recent draft of the script came in about two weeks ago, is quite good and is being looked at by bean counters. My fins are crossed.

Ant Writes:


Sorry to bother you with something so trivial, but I was wondering about

In your review of Alien vs Predator (way back when) you start with a quote you
attribute to Shakespeare.

"This is a time of men and angels, feast and sacrifice. A time of aliens
and predators, fleet of foot and burgeoning with viscosity."

I can’t find any listing for this quote, so I was wondering if it actually is
Shakespeare, or if you wrote it yourself.

Any help would be super appreciated.

Nick Replies: How long have you been reading the site? I mean, sometimes our jokes are obtuse and even hard to spot sometimes. Scratch that, I know nothing of this beast called subtlety. I was most certainly joking, though Shakespeare’s lost play about the Castle Freak is no laughing matter.

Jeph Writes:

Okay, I just read your review of Aqua Teen
Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. And all I have to say is, you’re a

I have not seen the film myself and therefore cannot pass judgment on it, and
to be honest, even as an huge ATHF fan, I’m not expecting much.

This ‘FEEDBACK’ isn’t so much about the review, hate the movie all you want, I
don’t care, this ‘FEEDBACK’ is more about your introduction.

"…many people will dismiss the extreme level of hatred I have for this
movie because they’ll think I don’t ‘get’ stoner humor."

There is absolutely nothing to ‘get’ about the type of humor used on all adult
swim cartoons. It’s for people who love absolutely random and slapstick
humor. In no way would I, or any of the plethora of ATHF fan friends,
would ever describe the humor as ‘stoner’. Myself, I’ve never touched a
illegal drug outside of pot, and even then I’ve only smoked pot 5 times in my
entire life.

ATHF is just funny, and that’s all you have to take it for, you can’t expect to
get substance out of it, you can’t look for subtext, you just watch and laugh
at the complete and udder randomness of the situation. Again, not
‘stoner’ humor. I, for instance, am an established software developer and
I think ATHF is the funniest cartoon alive.

Your exclusive review of your previous drug habits and addictions really lets
the looser in you shine. I’m really glad you’re proud of the fact that you
waisted away a good portion of your life and now you review movies for probably
little to no money.

Next time, don’t attempt to justify your review to fans of a franchise, just
say the movie sucked.

Nick Replies: What’s a "looser in you"? I might have to contact Devin’s physician if he is working for us with a looser in him. That goes against our medical qualifications. Seriously though, you should relax a little. It’s not like Devin’s review was meant just for software developers who think cartoons are alive. His review was for the poor saps who might walk into the theater not knowing they were about to wade in PhecalPhreak.


wow i never knew anyone who… hated a genre as
much as you seem to. but that’s what makes the world spin and creep
along. do you think there would/could ever be a good fantasy film?
most films stick to some formula, but i would love an action film where
the bad guy got away, the male and female partners hated each other for
the entire movie and the clever kid died in the middle.

keep writin’ and i’ll keep readin’

Nick Replies: Are you batshit? I LIKE fantasy as a genre, but I consider fantasy to be about more than lowest common denominator pandering towards the parenting dollar. Fantasy has become a synonym for ‘kid’s film’ and that my friend is a pile of man shit.


a quick observation here that might help your site. I really enjoy
reading the "industry" articles you guys write. Like today’s
"Grindhouse Failure" article. At the end of every article you
put down, "Discuss this in our message boards", which I am usually very
excited to do, as I always have opinions on these things. But when you
click the link, it just takes you to the overall general message board, not an
actual discussion thread discussing that article, which I think would be very

I’m not even sure you HAVE specific threads discussing these articles, as
whenever I go searching, I can never find them. But it’s strange that
that’s the impression you give after an article when you say "discuss this
on our message boards", and you just guide people to one big playground of
topics where readers might respond in 12 different threads, and never get a
chance to hear each other’s opinions.

Just a thought, but something I’d really love.

Nick Replies: The new site fixes this, but we create a thread for just about every article and it’s as simple as clicking the "Get New Posts" link when you sign on. That thing’s a gold mine.


consider adding either a newly released section, or bring back the scrolling
menu of newly added material to your site. I personally check chud anytime I
consider going to the theater to make sure i don’t waste 20$ on a crappy film
and feel that its often kinda difficult to even remember what is out in
theaters due to never having time to really do anything, which made the
scrolling menu easy to use to find the newest reviews.

Nick Replies: What scrolling menu?


On your next “Leak
Letters” I was wondering if you can possibly answer some questions regarding
the Jagged Alliance movie. I really enjoyed Jagged Alliance 1 and 2 –
especially the sequel, which in my opinion was one of the most robust sequels
I’ve ever seen in a game. I’m actually a game developer, so I’m pretty picky
about the games I like playing. And subsequently I have particular interest in
the Jagged Alliance movie.

Aside from lots of
tactical gunplay, it’s naturally the personalities and associated interplay
between the mercenaries that makes Jagged Alliance work so well. In some
respects, I imagine it being a similar scenario to what Tarantino will do if he
ever makes Inglorious Bastards – specifically a bunch of tough soldiers that
don’t get along very well (lots of sharp comments) but kick all sorts of butt.

In fairness, I have
no idea if there’s even a script (or overall premise yet) for Jagged Alliance.
Anyhow, here are my questions, which I’ll understand if you can’t answer at
this present time.

Evil ruthless chick
Hope so. Sarah
Silverman. Ha!

Mutants? I’m fine if they’re actually not in the movie, as I think
the movie should focus more on the mercenaries themselves (developing their
characters) and not having them fight a dictator’s forces PLUS mutants (which
would be cramming a lot into the first film and asking a lot from the
non-Jagged Alliance viewers).

Lynx? Better be in it.

Rated R? I’m guessing “Absolutely.”

It’s tough to imagine
this property being done cheaply, so I hope there’s adequate funding to back it
up. And as I stated earlier, if you can’t answer any of these questions then no
problem – I’ll just wait for future updates like everyone else. Take care and
best of luck with it (and your other projects).

Nick Replies: We are developing it now and I am confident you’ll be pleased with what is old and what is new. A few bits of data: I plan to have Deidrianna. No mutants. Lynx isn’t a major character. I think Rated R is a must. That said, it’s too early to really know.


Shitty teacher if you want the DH to
defile the National League. Watching guys like Zambrano and Willis
hit is fun. Watching Maddux execute a perfect bunt is a beautiful
thing. If you want to see a 250 pound guy who can only hit there is

Why the love for the DH?

Nick Replies: I don’t like giving away outs. Trainers don’t allow pitchers to spend the time to become capable at the plate, or some pitchers don’t want to make the effort and risk injury. Mike Hampton, Carlos Zambrano, Dontrelle Willis, and folks like that are as good as having a DH but I treat each baseball issue on a case by case basis and don’t feel that change is always bad. I like interleague play. I like the DH. I don’t really care about steriods. I hate the idea of the All-Star Game dictating home field. I think Sabermetrics is a fun diversion but not exactly a solution. I think players get too much flexibility and believe that the owners should hold the majority of power over them. The Designated Hitter makes it harder to walk people to get to the weak hitter, forces all players to either learn to play small ball or makes the game more power happy. While I think ESPN has truly gotted to be a nuisance in their focal choices, I’m all for baseball being something that steps into new terrain.


Hiya, love the site. I remember that you guys
had a few contests for 300 a while back, and I don’t think you ever announced a
winner. Just wondering if the contests are over. They started in
February, I believe.

Nick Replies: If you’d won, you’d know. We send the product out once it arrives.