might remember Adam Shankman from the anti-studio screed I hastily wrote up the other day. You might also remember him as the so-called director who tore open his anus and leaked out The Pacifier, A Walk to Remember, The Wedding Planner, Bringing Down the House and Cheaper By the Dozen 2. I’m sorry, is that harsh?

Okay, I’ll try to be nice about this. Shankman, who probably dug up and masturbated all over the remains of the Lindbergh Baby, has just lucked out by landing Adam Sandler for Bedtime Stories, which will likely be the former SNL star’s follow-up to the Judd Apatown/Robert Smigel scripted You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (a project Devin recently agonized over due to its preponderance of Dugan). The premise for Shankman’s movie isn’t awful: Sandler will play a real estate developer – how very Three Men and a Baby! – whose life goes all nutty when the bedtime stories he regales his niece and nephew with start coming true. Sounds like a mix of The Princess Bride and Time Bandits, which could be fun with the right talent involved. When Sandler is properly utilized, he’s ideal for this kind of material; when he’s cashing a paycheck and bringing in the Herlihy Gang to rewrite for a director who hates Mexicans (presumably), he’s useless.

The screenplay is currently credited to rookie scribe Matt Lopez, who’s hopefully mature enough to take his money and move on to the next gig when he’s shoved off the production. I could make more acerbic assumptions about this project, but I’m still trying to figure out if I’ve committed libel. Thus far, I think I’m in the realm of parody. Shankman’s lawyers may disagree. Then again, they’re all syphilis-ridden Menudo groupies, so who cares what they think?

Variety says Bedtime Stories is gunning for a Holiday 2008 release, so those of you who enjoy celebrating Christmas and/or Hanukkah by smothering the elderly have something to look forward to next year.