Round two, people. Microsoft’s presentation had some cool new tech, and a few decent bits of gameplay, but nothing mindblowing. Sony tends to kick ass on that front when they’ve got exclusives to show off. Let’s see what theyve got in the hat.

10:25–It’s over. Almost good enough to make me forget The Last Guardian sat out this year. ALMOST.


10:22–The fights in this game remind me a lot of the Takedowns in that Bourne game from a few years back. Except harsher. And hey now, YOUR SIDEKICK ISN’T USELESS.

10:20–Strangled a guy to death. And he didn’t go gentle. Yeesh.

7:17The Last Of Us. Yes.

7:16–And he just stabbed it in the brain, like, 20 times, and stole its brain. You fucked with the wrong one today, Ganesh. March 2013 for that shit.


7:11–Apparently, somewhere along the line, Kratos killed somebody from Lego Star Wars, and stole their Idol of Building Shit Telepathically.

7:10--Yes, it’s taking place in an unnecessary period of Kratos’ life. Yes, it’s the same gameplay. Yes, there’s no way they can top God of War III for setpieces. Don’t care. HE JUST CUT OFF A MINOTAURS’ LEGS.


7:05–Playstation Suite. Every single one of those phones is shit, currently. They announce HTC is making PS Certified phones. Audience is really trying to care, bless ‘em.

7:03–There’s chapter tests, and they unlock more poems and stories from Rowling about Hogwarts students. Gimmicky, but yeah, that’s gonna fly like crazy at Christmas.

7:01–This is gonna make a lot of kids really, REALLY happy. Alternately, create a lot of delusional pyromaniacs.

6:59Book of Spells. You use the PS Move as a wand, and you perform different spells from the Potter universe with it.  The book also has writing about how spells were found, and allows you to manipulate the book with AR stuff as well. Over/under on how many times the booth attendants have to stop people from trying to cast Cruciatus, Imperio, and Avada Kedavra?

6:54–….and then they announced a partnership with JK Rowling and Pottermore. Well, fuck.

6:52–Wonderbooks. Basically, they’re introducing AR Reader books for Move. If Nintendo has a milkshake, and Sony has a milkshake, and Sony has a straw, there’s the straw you see…..

6:50–There are 250 PS Move games already. Number of great ones? ZERO.

6:48–4 player co-op. Im all for playing with friends, but Im pretty sure we all know what co-op means. We didn’t need a boring demo.

6:44Far Cry 3. This guy Dan Hay sounds like he’s created a few wooden traps and snapped a few necks in his time. Like Phil Anselmo with a cold, this guy.

6:43–Looks damn pretty, but looks about as vital to the main story as the boat stuff in Revelations. That’s to say, not at all.

6:39–And now, its big brother, Assassin’s Creed III. Sea battles?

6:37Assassin’s Creed III: Liberation. Built from scratch. Female assassin. NICE.

6:36Call of Duty Black Ops Declassified for Vita. Talking up the “First AAA FPS on a handheld” stuff.  Intentional suck it to Nintendo, I feel.

6:32–Everyone in attendance got a free 1 year subscription to Playstation Plus. Crowd goes wild. Edward R Murrow shrieks in his fucking grave.

6:32LittleBigPlanet 2, Saints Row 2, and Infamous 2 for Playstation Plus members for free.

6:31Journey‘s the best selling PSN game of all time? That’s…fucking awesome, actually. I’m proud of you, gaming community.

6:30–Cross platform control for LittleBigPlanet 2 as well. New story mode as well. My girlfriend probably felt a tremor in the force, and will be squeeing shortly.

6:27–Nathan Drake and a Big Daddy from Bioshock will be playable. Well, it’s Smash Bros for teenagers. Okay.

6:24–Having classic characters/bosses means never having to remind your fanbase who they are.

6:22–Cross-platform play between Vita and PS3, you say?

6:21–Gotta love Sony’s hubris thinking they have as classic a character stable as Nintendo. But, more fanboy whooping, so apparently, SOMEBODY’s excited.

6:19–Talking about the “Michael” commercial from last year. That was truly brilliant. And being used as a leading for Playstation Battle Royale.


6:12–Ellen Page plays and mocaps the protagonist. Whoa.

6:11–In all seriousness, though? I’m already fucking FASCINATED by Beyond and the footage hasn’t even started yet.

6:10–David Cage. Set phasers to pretense, motherfuckers.

6:07–By the by, when I started, I was watching via the PS3 browser. Skippy as a sonofabitch. The fans watching there heard NONE OF WHAT YOU SAID, Jack.

 6:05–Jack Tretton on stage. Fanboy whooping. These are journalists, yes? Because if so, WHAT THE FUCK.

6:04pm PST–Montage of Playstation branded games. The soundtrack is like a Fatboy Slim album vomited.