I haven’t been a Metal Gear fan since The Twin Snakes. Once the series turned from fun techno-stealth to become military-industrial complex wankery writ way too large at the expense of gameplay or coherence, I asked for the check and swore fiddler crabs would sooner fly out of my ass, form a Whitesnake cover band, and win a Grammy over a new Slayer album before I played another one of these things.

So, when they announced this shit back at E3 2011 as yet another stealth actioner, it didn’t even register on my radar.

Apparently, the game was on the brink of cancellation last year, until Platinum Games, the crazy sonsabitches who made Bayonetta and MadWorld, took over.

Mea. Fucking. Culpa.


First of all, if I were Team Ninja, I’d be ashamed. This is closer to what Ninja Gaiden III should have been. Second of all, tip of the hat for the Depeche Mode track. Third, for the first time in a long while, I’ve got to show some love to Hideo Kojima. Apparently, the guy’s realizing his weaknesses as a game designer, and has gotten in the habit (along with Castlevania Lords of Shadow) or letting better studios do his dirty work, while he sticks to writing. Aside from Raiden (who’s virtually unrecognizable as the braying jackass of MGS2 anyway), this only barely resembles the pretenses of Metal Gears of old. If Platinum Games can pace out Kojima’s hot air storylines and marry it to the bugnuts crazy action they’re known for successfully, we may have a bonafide action masterpiece on our hands.

Don’t think this lets you guys off the hook for a Bayonetta sequel, though, Platinum.