Last Thursday afternoon, I went to Monje Campero to see the trailer for Watchmen. Turns out that they didn’t ship it down here yet. So, I had to settle for some movie called Batman: El Caballero de la Noche instead. Thankfully, I was able to download said trailer when I got home.

What to say about it? Amazing. Great stuff. Dr. Manhattan… My dick’s hard. All that geekgasm bullshit you expect to hear, I suppose. But then I got to thinking: How would the general audience in that theater (that is to say, every other person except me) have reacted to watching it if they had run it? It’s a cool trailer. It sells a sci-fi action extravaganza to audiences, telling them it’s by the guy who made a movie many of them liked and based on a comic that they’ve never heard of but that a lot of people seem to think is the dog’s bollocks.

Fine. That’ll pack em in, I guess.

But I needed to know more.

So I took it upon myself to actually go and show the trailer to a handful of people (friends of mine) with varying tastes and perspectives. I wanted to see what their perception was of this upcoming movie called Watchmen. (None of them had any knowledge of the source material – this goes without saying) The result was interesting and I’m about to share it with you. Some of these reactions are from genuine film buffs and others from “the real people of the world.” I’m sure it will be easy to decipher which is which.

So… Here they are. In no particular order.

RONALD: Who’s the hot girl? Just eye candy? Ok. Well… I see the DC Comics logo, so I’m assuming it’s a comic. Probably some team of heroes. Like The Superfriends or something. I couldn’t tell you anything more than that. And there are these three blue guys who shoot electricity from their hands. Yeah… I’ll see it. If it’s good, I’ll see it twice.

Dude… Superfriends. And you envision The Blue Man Group as the wonder twins? That’s what you come up with? How is it you keep owning my ass at Texas Hold ‘Em when I’m so much smarter than you?

DIETER: Wow… That’s gonna be a slam-dunk right? The movie of next year? Those are some good special effects…

He then proceeds to enter the kitchen and cook himself some Lime Shrimp Ramen with a boiled egg and we never speak of it again.

DAD: I dunno. I guess it’s another superhero thing… Futuristic. I get a Terry Gilliam vibe from it. That weird machine that comes out of the water. Not the look of it… That’s all modern action movie with the special effects. But there seems to be something surreal going on. It looks good.

HIS GIRLFRIEND – AMY: Ppfffft! The “VISIONARY” director of 300. Yeah. Nice trailer. But 300 also had a “nice trailer.” Is this another comic book thing? What is it with Hollywood? Can’t they make anything based on an original idea anymore? Does everything have to be a comic book now?

Interesting that my dad picked up on a “Terry Gilliam vibe.” I mean, he was going to do this in the late 80s, right? The Sam Hamm draft? The one that has it climax with some kind of an assassination attempt? Or something? Love Gilliam… But VERY glad that didn’t come to pass.

BETO: It looks like X-Men. Watchmen… What does that mean? The Men Who Watch? Like The Guardians or something? It’s a comic. It looks like it has good special effects.

CEXILIA: Well… That looks interesting. There’s a guy who transforms into pure energy. I thought the girl was Bellucci at first, then I realized it wasn’t. Then there’s some guy that looks like Batman. Or is it Mighty Mouse? And it’s clearly some kind of apocalyptic scenario… I get a real Dark CityCity of Lost Children vibe from this. Yeah… Gilliam. Definitely. The images are pretty and they promise quite a package. I’ll see it. But, honestly? I’m scared of this movie. Too often have I fallen for pretty trailers like this that promise you they have the goods. Like Dark City or even The Thirteenth Floor. Too often have I fallen for their bullshit, where they promise a lot but deliver crap. So… I’m scared.

(The Thirteenth Floor… Hmm. Something to think about.)

RAMIRO: It’s a comic book. It’s a novel. It’s a novel by DC Comics. I don’t know. That trailer doesn’t tell me anything. I have no fucking clue what any of this shit is. It was obviously made for the fans. I guess I’d have to read the comic to know more about it. What, is it a team of superheroes like Justice League or something? I couldn’t tell you who the good guys and bad guys are… And it’s the end of the world. I don’t know. Sure… I’ll see it. I didn’t know anything about Sin City and I didn’t really care about the trailer. But when I saw the movie, I liked it. This might be like that. It will probably do well. I’m sure it has a lot of fans…

HIS GIRLFRIEND INGRID: Yeah… That’s weird. I don’t know what that is. Yeah. Whatever. I don’t know.

Well… Justice League is a step up from The Fucking Superfriends. I’ll give you that much.

DAN: This looks good. This looks really fucking good. Hey! I know that logo. I’ve seen it at comic book stores. I guess it’s a superhero team… Like X-Men or something. It looks really good. Impressive. I LOVED 300I LOVED Sin City. I like what they’re doing now, taking obscure comic books and transferring them exactly onto the screen. It’s what I always thought they should do. I’ll definitely watch it.

And there you have it.

I think WB will insure itself a manageable opening weekend if they continue to market the shit out of this and maintain the ambiguity. But I’m curious to see the reactions of all these people when they go see the movie.

Time will tell… But if Zack Snyder has made a film that is truly worthy of the title Watchmen, these friends of mine are about to have their minds blown wide open. Some may love it and others most likely will not, but the fact that the movie is so completely NOT what they all perceive it to be is going to lead to that inevitable shock of “Oh my God… What the fuck is this thing that I am watching?”

People are looking to it like a summer slam bang. In some ways, I guess that’s true. But it’s more like the kind of slam-bang that Tyrone or Butch give you on your first night at the state pen.

I want to be there on the day that it happens to these fine friends of mine.

They’re good people. They deserve what’s coming to them.