rights to The Green Hornet, a character best known today for his 1960s TV that introduced America to Bruce Lee in the racially insensitive role of Kato, have been bouncing around Hollywood for years now. Universal had him, but they decided that a comic book character from the 30s who was unknown to anyone without grey in their pubes was a bad bet. Next the rights went to Miramax, back when Harvey and Bob ran it, and Kevin Smith was supposed to write and direct. Smith suddenly realized that he was not a very good filmmaker, even by the debased and syphilitic standards of modern action films, and so he backed off. The Green Hornet returned to limbo.

But now Columbia has picked him up, with official Enemy of the People Neil Moritz producing. Moritz, you may know, is the guy behind the xXx ‘franchise,’ SWAT, Gridiron Gang, and 2 Fast 2 Furious. He also produced Torque, but that just proves lightning can strike even the most withered and shitty tree once.

With Moritz on board, the best news for fans of The Green Hornet would be that the movie again slips into limbo. Nah, who am I kidding? The best news for fans of The Green Hornet would be that they took a solid shit today and that they were able to recognize their own grandkids.