The best thing about Monday morning is the flood of Oh Don Piano! news coming out of the weekend junkets. And though this might look like an attention-getting Monday morning fake, it’s probably going to happen. IESB is reporting that at the junket for Shooter, producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura was talking up G.I. Joe, which he claims will be going into production straightaway after Transformers wraps.

Unsurprisingly given his current project, his pick for leader of the kung-fu grip grunts is Mark Wahlberg, who the producer claims is perfect to step in as the iconic leader Duke. (Though to me the iconic leader was always Snake Eyes, who as reality has it, turns out to be a lot more representative of the way we like to win wars.)

For his part, Walhberg’s reaction to the G.I. Joe question lands squarely in junket territory: I’ll do whatever Lorenzo wants me to do…he knows how to get me to say ‘yes’.

The script will reportedly turn on the creation of Cobra, though as long as there’s a ten-minute action sequence in which Gung-Ho’s massive teat tattoo is burned on during his escape from a hail of explosive debris, I’ll be happy.