So the other night I’m standing at my favorite bar drinking some cheap beer and watching some girls butcher every Weezer song playable in Rock Band, when another regular and I decide to play a little prank on the bar owner.

Now, we don’t hate the guy- far from it- he’s fucking great. He has good taste in music and movies, makes great drinks and food, and is incredibly popular with the ladies despite being a self described “6 on a good day.” (Lonely? Buy your own bar. You’ll never go home alone.)

But he loves playing pranks on everyone, and the people that know him well do it right back. I’m not sure how my buddy got the idea of messing with him using the Rock Band signup sheet, but soon we were brainstorming all the possible name combinations he could yell out and make him feel like Moe after Bart got him one good. The bartender rolled her eyes at us as we giggled drunkedly and imagined how good we were going to get him.

But you’d be surprised how hard it is to find 4 real names that add up to a funny statement. Our first one failed, miserably.

“Anita Amanda Neil + Bob” was the line we wrote, but he saw right through it, storming over to us and not even needing to ask if we did it because we were laughing so hard. He knocked our band down the list a couple of turns as punishment.

See, our problem was that there was no Anita or Amanda at the bar that he knew of, and it’s a pretty obvious opener, anyway. We’re going to have to find girls with those names and bring them there one day to make it work, but for that night we were stuck with whoever was in the bar (especially since our cover was already blown).

We went for a more innocent line next, and it hit gold.

“Sarah, Pat, Mya, Peter!” he bellowed over the noise of the bar. A beat, then I yelled back “Pat your peter? You sick fuck.” and everyone just lost it.

We didn’t get a chance to play for quite a while after that, but it was worth it.