Remember the Monster Ballads commercial? It’s the one with all those badass dudes skydiving with their electric guitars as they rock out to tunes by Poison and Damn Yankees? For $26.99 you could own two CDs with 35 tracks of rocking metal the slow, soft, gentle way. It was Now! That’s What I Call Music for sensitive metalheads and their girlfriends – people who weren’t complete pussies but were nevertheless willing to flirt with pussydom on their own time.

Anyways, when I watch this Rock of Ages trailer I think back to simpler times – when dudes were dudes and they could just jump out of airplanes with their instruments and groove to the softer side of rock n’ roll.