makes one a Chewer? It isn’t just reading CHUD.com regularly, although
that’s a great start. It definitely isn’t being an expert at
mastication. Being a Chewer requires a certain sensibility that’s
outside of the mainstream. Sure, a Chewer can hold his or her own in a Star Wars
OT vs PT argument with a standard movie geek, and sure, a Chewer can go
with the rest of the film snobs to an Ozu revival, but a Chewer also
gets really, really excited about the DVD release of The Manitou.
the next few weeks we’re going to be bringing you The CHUD.com
Essential Films Collection – the films that would be in our dream
Chewer DVD Box Set. These are 50 movies that we think every Chewer
should see and love. This is by no means the definitive list of movies
that make one a Chewer, but it’s a good start. It’s also in no order –
the first films that we list are just as essential as the last ones.
And it’s a list that will leave off the obvious as much as possible –
you don’t need us to tell you to see Lawrence of Arabia or Seven
So fire up your Netflix or your Amazon accounts – every day we’ll be bringing you two movies that are worth seeing, and probably worth owning as well. Chew on, Chewers.
The Arrival (Buy it from CHUD!)
Charles F’n Sheen WAS Zane Zaminski, an astronomer turned unlikely
planet-saver in this most “B” of B-movies. He intercepts a transmission
from extraterrestials only to find out that they’re already here and
they don’t like sharing the planet with us. They do like our descent
into self-destruction with global warming, tho, so why not help that
along? The rest of the film is essentially one extended, ultra-fun
chase that crosses borders and any sort of boundaries of logic.
Why it’s Essential: To start with, this is what a “B” movie should be: Fun, without being kitsch. Self-aware, without being self-important. Taut, without being threadbare. David Twohy’s script and direction keep things moving fast and furious, and the only punctuation is a series of classic lines like “What do I want to do? I want to blow a hole in your head and donate your organs to science, but I’ve got a few questions first.” or the eternal “I look like a can of smashed assholes.” Best of all is the sort of cast you really can’t get in a theatrical movie these days. Sheen. Polo. Silver. RIPPY. And if I have to tell you any of their first names, you really need to read this entire list more than you thought.
- Micah Robinson
Chevy Chase is at the peak of his then-considerable powers as Irwin
Fletcher, the erstwhile reporter in the thick of Michael Ritchie’s
adaptation of Gregory McDonald’s classic novel. Not really a master of
disguises but rather a casual accessorizer of personas, Fletch gets
into hot water when he’s “hired” to kill millionaire Tim Matheson while
on the trail of a story. Nothing is as it seem… oh fuck it, it’s a
Chevy Chase movie.
Why it’s Essential: The level of great quotes and effortless comedic timing from Chase and his supporters is legendary, though nowhere nearly as beloved as some of the other comedies of its era. I’d take this over any 80’s comedy, save perhaps Trading Places and not just because I loved the books. This IS a rare film (and to a much lesser extent its sequel) that is its own thing that works that doesn’t sacrelige the books either. Never again has Chase’s charm and smarm been as on point as in this film and even Harold Faltermeyer doesn’t ruin the affair with his wacky keyboard stylings. A true comedy classic and whether it’s redone by Bill Lawrence and Zach Braff or Kevin Smith and Jason Lee or Tyler Perry and Eriq LaSalle, no one can compete with this one.
- Nick Nunziata