TSTL and You
A new epidemic has stricken the earth. It is a wildfire in our midst threatening to destroy the very fabric of humanity. Many of you are already infected. Don’t believe me? Answer the following questions:
1. Do you avoid sitting in traffic by using the shoulder?
2. Do you speak fluent Klingon?
3. Ever miss the off-ramp on the highway and drive in reverse back to the exit?
4. Have a minor fender-bender on a busy road and not “steer it and clear it”?
5. Back up 3000 cars in traffic to let one idiot make a left hand turn out of his neighborhood instead of letting traffic flow work?
6. Think Adam Sandler movies are good?
7. Paint yourself to show support for a University you didn’t even attend?
8. Do you lurk on forums waiting to prove what a supreme wit you have?
9. Do you think that getting that Russian Mail Order Bride is a good idea?
10. Do you believe the rhythm method is actually a form of birth control?
11. Think George Lucas is a genius Director for making the Prequels?
12. Do you believe that invading Iraq was about oil?
13. Do you believe that Hillary Clinton will make a great President of the United States?
14. Do you think Michael Moore makes documentaries?
15. Do you think that reality TV is the best thing to hit Television?
If you answered yes to any of these you are infected. Your prognosis isn’t good. You are being ravaged by the acute form of TSTL, or Too Stupid To Live. There is no known cure, but reading has been known to slow the spread of the disease. This illness can be passed to your children so I recommend that you get yourself neutered as quickly as possible. Look for signs in friends and family.
Do us all a favor and read a good book, try stimulating the grey matter every once in a while and maybe you can avoid being caught farting in the bath tub and biting at the bubbles.