original title for this article was ‘Biel beats off Lohan’. Then I realized that (a) it wasn’t quite right and (b) we don’t have the bandwidth to support the number of hits we’d get from Dave Davis alone. Not that it matters anyway, since this is really just another excuse to run a partially clothed photo of Ms. Biel.

See, Lindsay Lohan was slated to star in Bruce Beresford’s adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s A Woman of No Importance, alongside Sean Bean and Anette Benning. But because she apparently takes all that Hollywood shit seriously, the prospect of rehab seems like a better choice than powering through her habit to have three potentially decent films on her otherwise creatively barren resume, instead of only two.

(Or, as the source implies, is it that Lohan is now harder to insure than a basement apartment in the Mississippi delta?)

Lucky for us, Jessica Biel is stepping up to bolster her resume. Which means that we’ll get a new photo shoot with her in Victorian garb, and she’ll get to develop those chops that began to glimmer through The Illusionist last year.