work, Mr. Sutherland.

Kiefer Sutherland is such a survivor I think that cockroaches and rats build little shrines to him. He fucking DID it, parlaying the seemingly trapping role of Ace Merrill (oh, and Jack Bauer) into a true A-List career, the odiferous The Sentinel notwithstanding.

24 still manages to deliver, even though it seems a big screen version is unlikely and though the formula of the show is long since overblown the acting and sheer wattage of the filmmaking still grants it a unique foothold in the television climate.

Now the hard-drinking Donaldson has another gig lined up, a way to make his time away from 24 a little less relaxing and assuredly lucrative. Mirrors, a thriller directed by someone who must have pictures of Devin Faraci blowing a priest, because the guy’s love for Alexandre Aja borders on surreal.

Aja. Kiefer. Shiny objects. Box Office Gold.

The skinny, by way of Variety:

"In "Mirrors," Sutherland will play an ex-cop who works security at a
mall and discovers something awry in the mirrors of a department store.
He tries to discover the origin of the evil.

I’m sure it’s just their wording but that logline makes me hurt in the parts of my brain devoted to thinking and tasting, because I’ve been wasting my time with all these complex and interesting screenplays and comic books when I should have been concocting massively brilliant tales of how a salt shaker houses the soul of Anton LeVay. Damn it!

Anyhow, the film will shoot during Kiefer’s hiatus, after which it’ll be edited, after which it will be ejaculated on by this site’s most New Yorky writer.