I told you all, but you wouldn’t listen. You whined about David Goyer on The Flash. You celebrated his departure. And while your backs were turned, Warner Bros was dropping a roofie in your drink so they could assrape you for the next few years. The assraping comes in the form of Shawn Levy being hired to direct the big screen version of The Flash.
Son of a fucking bitch.
Yes, Shawn Levy, the guy who directed Night at the Museum, the latest movie in Ben Stiller’s debt to Satan. Who directed The Pink Panther remake. Who directed Cheaper by the Goddamned Dozen. Shawn Levy, who might well be the most hacktacular director working today, a man without style, vision or a sense of what makes a movie even watchable. But hey, Goyer’s off, so you’re happy, right?
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Levy will be overseeing a new script for the film, which may use elements of Goyer’s version. The trade says that the director is not planning on making The Flash a comedy, but that it will be lighter than most other superhero movies. It’ll probably also make Howard the Duck look like a home run.
This is just about the worst news that fans of The Flash – or cinema – could have gotten. With Night at the Museum currently outgrossing certain nations, there’s no way that Warner Bros is going to stand in Levy’s way as he casts Ben Stiller as a neurotic and uptight Barry Allen and Owen Wilson as the laidback Kid Flash. And hey, Steve Martin has white hair – let’s make him Captain Cold!
We’ve been lucky with superhero films thus far – most of the major ones have been handled by legitimate talents. Even if you didn’t like the movies they turned out, there was no denying that real work and effort went into making these films, that they were treated like real movies. Now we’re entering the next phase of superhero films, where monstrously talentless wanks like Levy get to come play in the sandbox because they can guarantee the kind of box office returns the studios drool for.