grew up, like many of you, listening the the Chipmunks. I had Chipmunk Punk, God help me. The escapades of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore were the stuff of legend in a time when you too could have your own Chipmunk records simply by popping an album on and changing the .78 to .44. Or was it vice versa? I can’t remember, ’cause shit was in black & white back then.

Of course there’s a Chipmunks movie coming. Of course there is. In fact, were I not too lazy to dig deeper I’m sure we reported about it a few years ago. I’m surprised they haven’t yet because some things don’t go out of style, especially helium and rodents. A movie about these guys isn’t made as much as it forms from the primordial celluloid ooze and slithers onto the distribution charts for movie studios as if Yog Soggoth itself granted the greenlight.

From Variety comes this news item/warning:

"Tim Hill is in negotiations to direct the CG-live action hybrid pic "Alvin and the Chipmunks" for Fox 2000 and Fox Animation."

Hill is the man who brought us the second Garfield movie, an act single-handedly responsible for making my DVD of Rushmore shrivel up and die. Expect CGI, songs, a Burger King tie-in, and someone like Ashton Kutcher or Josh Duhamel signed to play the singing vermin’s human slave, Dave. So there’s your freakin’ Chipmunks movie. Enjoy it, and don’t be surprised if they do some stunt on American Idol where those little disease carries try to impress the panel of bloated judges with a cover of ‘I Will Survive’.

All of this bitching is moot if the Chipmunks have the common decency to cover Danzig’s Lucifuge album.