Penelope Cruz (Volver), Judi Dench (Notes on a Scandal), Helen Mirren (The Queen), Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada), Kate Winslet (Little Children)
Remember back when Meryl Streep would get nominated just for having a vagina? Those days are back. Mirren is so going to win this award, if for nothing else than for charming Niger Terry all those many years ago. Trivia: Excalibur was the first R-Rated film I saw in a theater.
Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jackie Earle Haley (Little Children), Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond), Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls), Mark Wahlberg (The Departed)
A very interesting group of fellows. I think Arkin will get it for playing the Imogene Coco role from Vacation, but Hollywood loves a comeback story and what is a more Hollywood comeback story than Eddie Murphy. He went from brilliant and rich to absolutely horrid and rich and now seems to be brilliant and rich, if for but a moment. He’s never not been here, but Hollywood doesn’t care. Jackie Earle Haley deserves it for both playing a child molestor and for being Jackie Earle Haley and relevant. I love that guy.
Best Supporting Actress
Adriana Barraza (Babel), Cate Blanchett (Notes on a Scandal), Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls), Rinko Kikuchi (Babel)
Hudson should win and I think her win should make it legal to cancel American Idol and all it represents. Once again, if the kid wins I am punching her right in the puss.
Foreign Language Film
After the Wedding (Denmark), Days of Glory (Indigenes), Algeria, The Lives of Others (Germany), Pan’s Labyrinth (Mexico), Water (Canada)
Wait, Canada speaks French? When did this shit start? Pan’s Labyrinth not only deserves this award, it deserves this award. I think it alone has kept Mexico from using its weapons of mass destruction on its neighbors to the North.
Borat, Children of Men, The Departed, Little Children, Notes on a Scandal
This can go any way and I’d be fine with it. I actually think Monahan created an amazingly entertaining movie from what was a slick and cool but nowhere near as rich original.
Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Queen
Duh. Call me a sucker for fantasy, but Guillermo fucking went all out on this one.
Animated Feature Film
Cars, Happy Feet, Monster House
Monster House will never win in a million years but it was the best of these, if not a little flawed. Plus, it didn’t have Robin Williams or Larry the Cable Guy. It was the only one of these that understood that you can be an animated film but you can still operate under the laws of regular filmmaking. You don’t have to have singing animals or talking goddamn cars to be both animated and worthwhile to kids and adults.
Dreamgirls, The Good Shepherd, Pan’s Labyrinth, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, The Prestige
Hard to argue against any of these, so I’ll go with the one I personally want to win.
The Black Dahlia, Children of Men, The Illusionist, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Prestige
Wow, this is tough but Guillermo Navarro is the best thing since sliced head. Robert Rodriguez was foolish to give up on him.
Apocalypto, Blood Diamond, Dreamgirls, Flags of Our Fathers, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Can’t really cough up much enthusiasm here at all. Where the fuck is The Fountain?
Apocalypto, Blood Diamond, Flags of Our Fathers, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Wake me up when it’s over.
Babel, The Good German, Notes on a Scandal, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Queen
Fairy tale and its haunting lullabye take the square.
An Inconvenient Truth, Dreamgirls, Dreamgirls, Cars, Dreamgirls
I wonder who will win? Now if Al Gore had sung the tune for his film…
Curse of the Golden Flower, The Devil Wears Prada, Dreamgirls, Marie Antoinette, The Queen
Where’s Apocalypto? They actually had to THINK a lot.
Deliver Us From Evil, An Inconvenient Truth, Iraq in Fragments, Jesus Camp, My Country, My Country
People need a reason to see the flick about global warming to realize that it, like the Holocaust and Moon Landing… might be real.
Documentary (Short Subject)
The Blood of Yingzhou District, Recycled Life, Rehearsing a Dream, Two Hands
I don’t have time for shorter films!
Babel, Blood Diamond, Children of Men, The Departed, United 93
Jesus this is tough. As opposed to this is Tough Jesus… from Pemmican!
Apocalypto, Click, Pan’s Labyrinth
Oscar Nominee Click. fuck you, Academy.
Animated Short Film
The Danish Poet, Lifted, The Little Matchgirl, Maestro, No Time For Nuts
I have even less time in my busy schedule for ANIMATED short films.
Live Action Short Film
Binta and the Great Idea, Eramos Pocos, Helmer & Son, The Saviour, West Bank Story
What, you people can’t stretch the story of a kid eating an apple to 3 hours? Amateurs.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Poseidon, Superman Returns
When Michelin commercials have better effects than the films I grew up on, this award seems useless. Let’s see which department that had 40 million dollars to do special effects deserves a statue the most.