Zyzzyx? (RESPONSE TO THIS ARTICLE) (SEND A LETTER)
Mitch to the right.

Gerald: What ever happened to Zyzzyx Rd.? Is a DVD going to be released and if so when? Does Grillo have a phone number or email address that they respond to? That’s the problem with this movie, lots of questions but no answers. With Heigl and Sizemore in it you would think Leo would be eager to get it out.

Nick: I think, thanks to Devin… everyone will have Zyzzyx Rd. hardwired to their spine on their next doctor’s visit. Stay tuned to CHUD.com, or as it’s now known… THE HOUSE THAT GRILLO BUILTO.

SPECIAL ED. (RESPONSE TO THIS ARTICLE) (SEND A LETTER)Mitch to the right.

Andrew: FINALLY the Special Edition is readable. It’s been a long time coming.
Thank you sir.

Nick: I disagree. I think ol’ Shawn has big shoes, and penis, to fill. I love Newell’s work on the column. That said, he has Newell in his corner, and penis.

Dead End Drive-In. (SEND A LETTER)Mitch to the right.

Jack: Don’t know if you guys will get around to it, I know you are busy, but I had a question that I thought you guys could answer. I’m currently stuck in a rather mundane job that I don’t so much dislike as feel that it really holds no future for me (yeah, I’m a teacher). I’ve been into movies for years, and in my spare time I enjoy writing; so I sat down and took a stab at writing my own script based on one of my favorite books of all time – Lord of the Flies by William Golding. Yes, I realize that it has been done before, but the other two movies were dromedary piss. I think we can all agree on that. Unlike much of my other writing, which festers on my C drive like old porn, I actually finished the script in a little more than a month. Which leads me to my question: Where do I go from here? I have a few friends of friends who work in the business out in LA, but other than that, I am clueless. What’s the next step?

Also. . . Nick my wife is a home-body of epic proportions. She has a special bond with her family, especially her mom, that some may describe as ideal. I think it’s a little Norman Bates-ish to be honest, but whatever. The idea of moving to LA scares the Vern Troyer out of her. How do you do what you do and still remain based in Atlanta? Is it possible? Or are you going to be leaving us soon for the City of Bangles? We live in Loganville and I don’t see her wanting to move any time soon. Is this realistic?

Oh, and if you ever need an opinion or a review, I’d love to help. We had a baby recently so I rarely get to the movies as much as I’d like, but I’m a Blockbuster fiend. Just let me know. Keep up the great work on CHUD, it’s practically all I ever read when it comes to movies these days. Thanks for any suggestions either of you provide.

Nick: We’re always looking for new writers, especially since 40% of them piss off after they realize there’s work involved and often little reward (for example, the ONE POST in the thread devoted to Devin’s 2-part Joe Carnahan interview). As for the other thing: the honest truth is you have to get your script in someone’s hand who believes in it and there are millions of scripts out there in every nook and cranny of L.A. and beyond. Get it read, preferably by an agent, and possibly you’ll be one of the lottery winners who gets the chance to have your cake and eat it too. One thing: you can’t do it in an unsupportive environment. I know that for a fact. The shit my wife puts up with… Best of luck, sir.

Podcasts. (RESPONSE TO THIS ARTICLE) (SEND A LETTER)

Mitch to the right.Colin: I love your site. I’ve been a patron since its conception, but have never made much of an attempt to speak up. After all these years I finally have a modest request, more podcasts please. The Chud Show is fantastic, I know it’s probably a lot of work, but I would pay to hear you guys wait in line to file your taxes. Seriously, this one-podcast-every-two-months thing is more dissapointing than that purple stuff in the Sunny D commercials (and I’m not reffering to the Phantom’s ejaculate). Please resume the auditory nuggets of gold soon!

Nick: If I had my way, we’d do ‘em daily. It’s been tough, it really has. for great reasons, though. Reasons which, in a few weeks, should make all of the fun stuff SO much more easy to do. Please don’t lose the faith and spread the word, man. The more podcast cravings we get the more inspired we are. That said, we have SUCKED in our recent attempts to record new ones.

Open Letter From a Nominee. (RESPONSE TO THIS ARTICLE)(SEND A LETTER)Mitch to the right.

William: Nick,

I find the web-wide dislike re: ‘CLICK’ for makeup amusing, (considering it made 130+million from somewhere) no accounting for taste, I guess. As far as I’m aware none of you so called internet journalists are makeup artists,so having worked as a makeup/effects artist for the past 20 years, I’d like to give you a little professional perspective on this subject. I’m a huge fan of the work done in ‘Apocolypto’ and ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ and fully believed ‘Pirates’ should have occupied the third slot, and for the record, I think "Apocolypto" is the film to beat. As for "the Academy’ being fuc**ed re: ‘Click’, maybe if you were witness to the Make-up bake- off you’d have a different opinion. Having gotten into the Academy 2 years ago( which if you didn’t know, is not easy) I’ve been enlightened to the way that the best of the year is selected. It’s all about the work! No matter who did it, who was in it , how much it made and certainly not how well it was reviewed( that would eliminate most of the the genre stuff right off the bat) A cross-section of the best artists in the business ( makeup and hair) labor long and hard over what works deserve to be acknowledged. Say what you will, but in a year with lots of dirt, tattoos, scars and darkly shot- rubber suits( which I’ve done a few), Click was the only one that displayed realistic makeups. Aging, for the uninformed, is the hardest type of makeup to pull off successfully ( see ‘Mr. Saturday Night’ or ‘For the Boys’) Not to mention it was shot in H.D. digital (same camera’s and D.P. as Apocolypto) which is completely unforgiving. The widely panned ‘youth’ makeups in the film were, on set, amazing, but a digital- obsessed director thought he could enhance the work digitally, thereby destroying them( thus removing it from the academy’s review) Having done numerous aging makeups over the years, I can easily say that the old-age on Henry Winkler is one of the most beautiful/ flawless makeups I’ve ever seen ( including any by Greg Cannom) The artist , Kazuhiro, is responsible for some of the best makeup done in the past few years; Jim Carreys ‘Grinch’ application, Tim Roth’s ‘Thade’ in ‘Planet of the Apes’, "The Ring 1&2" and the upcoming" Norbit"( all under Rick Baker’s Cinovation Studios) Rick himself believes that Kazu is one of the most talented makeup artists ever.( I agree)

So, regardless of your dislike for the film, the members of the academy selected the work, not the film. I just wanted to give you a little background to inform your ‘colorful’ opinion.
Sorry about going on, I do like your reviews and site.

I just wanted to give you a little background from one who knows intimately how difficult that work was to achieve. And I for one and grateful to the Academy for their decision. Those fuc***ers.

sincerely, Bill Corso

Academy Award Winner and nominee for "CLICK"

Nick: Wow. First of all, we’re a site that is very much in support of the good work make-up artists do and I was a big Dick Smith and Tom Savini wannabe before I realized I was a pile of dick at the work. The appreciation is there. As for Click‘s quality being determined by its box office, shame on you. You should be kicked out of the Academy for such a comment. I would assume you find a few films to be better than Titanic. Anyhow, I respect the work you do and the sacrastic comment I made about Click, [and by the way, Fuck Click] had more to do with the idea of an Adam Sandler film being up for any award that doesn’t feature a raspberry than it did with the work of the films’ artisans. I know how many people bust their ass so a film of any kind can happen. I know you guys are just doing your job, caught in the sway of the gig. If they want you to make Adam Sandler fat and old, it’s your job. Why you didn’t slip him a mickey and hide the body in the desert is beyond me, but to each their own. That said, I apologize for offending you if I did [fuck Click], it was more for comic relief than any kind of true animosity. In fact, I would love to go directly to you in the future to ensure we don’t have this kind of misunderstanding again. Congrats for the nomination, it is, as they say, the reward. As for us being "so called internet journalists", keep reading the site. We do a good job even though our traffic numbers aren’t the Click of the online film community.

Ads. (SEND A LETTER)Mitch to the right.

Cory: I just wanted to comment on the webcam shot of a hot chick that loops and continuously plays. Its super annoying and I find it hard to read your awesome articles that I like to week in week out. Dark Horizons has incorporated that same thing and it’s even more annoying that it’s on every damn page that I read. I understand that sponsorship is very important and is the backbone to many sites and companies. Would it be too much to ask to get rid of at least the background music? I would greatly appreciate it as I probably won’t be the only one writing to you regarding it.

Keep up the good work guys!

Nick: Ads are here to stay. The site is free! Enjoy it, ads and all.

Can Uncles Never Tire? (SEND A LETTER)Mitch to the right.

Len: This web site is the single worst, most unusable site I have ever tried to navigate. Either redesign it of just shut it down. Put us out of our misery.

Nick: Send me your address. I will hire a specialist friend of mine to personally put you out of your misery.

Devinagon. (SEND A LETTER)

Mitch to the right.Zadar: Hey…Devin [it feels like we’ve met],

I saw Eragon with my friends the other night and after the first 5 frames decided that it was complete trash. But it’s fun trash. We enjoyed making fun of it, sure we were drunk but…hmmm.

We were drunk, that’s the only reason why this film was watchable to my sensitive eyes.

You nailed it with the Star Wars thing, I made that connection while 10 minutes into the shitty movie. John Malkavich was laughable and the actor who played the lead had better DSL than the female Princess or whatever the fuck she was, however, she is still hot.

Nick:
I’m Nick, not Devin. He’s the one with the hairy face and greasy WOP features. Oh. Anyhow, I’m sure Devin will read this and be glad you wrote. Then, he’ll jerk off to the Harry Potter books. Or something.

The Fountain. (SEND A LETTER)Mitch to the right.

Eydie: I saw Pan’s Labyrinth at a free preview, and since none of my friends could come with me, I was dying to discuss it with someone so went online to look for forums. Though sadly I can’t through the Internet put my hands, palms-outward, over my forehead and scare people (^o^) like I plan to do to my friends once they see the film.

Yours is the absolute best review of all the ones I’ve come across. It seemed like many reviewers didn’t even "get" it (even the ones whol liked it). Yours is the one that best captures the feel of the movie and its essence, as well as how it affects the viewer. And you do all this without giving too much away. What’s more, I didn’t even think of some of the dualities you mentioned until reading your critique.

As a fellow critic (of music) I figured you’d appreciate hearing about a reader who really appreciates your writing.

Nick: I’m sure you meant Devin’s review. Mine was shit compared to his.

Discuss the Leak Letters here.