MSRP: $14.95
RATED: (Unrated)
RUNNING TIME: 70 Minutes

• Behind the scenes featurette (9 min.)
• Two different commentary tracks

The Pitch

A marginally unstable man gets revenge on a group of scantily-clad pranksters known as the Ding Dong Ditchers who have been terrorizing his neighborhood.

The Humans

Written and directed by Creep Creepersin. Starring Luke Y. Thompson, Elina Madison, Julia Boyd, Nicole Sienna, Dolce Death, and Megan Francis.

The Nutshell

Micro-budget comedy-horror snooze-fest.

The Lowdown

Doug (Luke Y. Thompson) is having the worst day ever and so was I after watching Ding Dong Dead. The film is a tedious slice of comedy-horror that has a fun concept, but that’s ultimately destroyed by the miserable editing and lifeless female cast. It’s a bummer too because this could be a seriously fun flick; a great movie to put on at parties, but the editing just kills it. It’s written, directed, produced, shot, and edited by a fellow named Creep Creepersin, a man who has about 30 features under his belt since 2006. It’s obvious he makes movies for fun and doesn’t give a damn what other people think, which is fantastic, but if only Mr. Creepersin had cut his scenes a bit tighter Ding Dong Dead would be a tolerable low budget descent into suburban madness.

He's going Shining-crazy now

Back to the awful day Doug is having. To start things off he’s fired from his job. After watering his lawn and fantasizing about his hot neighbor, he goes on a little soul-searching drive around town. He nearly runs over a group of  young women who are blocking the road, dressed like cat burglar goths. These are the Ding Dong Ditchers (DDD), a group of women who are apparently unemployed and spend their days plotting out adolescent pranks against their neighbors. After they maliciously glare at each for what feels like an eternity, Doug heads home to mope around and talk to himself. A lot of the movie is Doug talking to himself.

The DDDs (whose names all begin with Ds, ah-yuck) target poor Doug for their middle school prankery. During a ding dong ditch gone horribly wrong, one of the DDDs is killed. Now the DDDs are out for revenge and ready to turn Doug’s neighborhood into a warzone! Not really though. Their idea of revenge is going back to Doug’s house the following night to ding dong ditch again. But this time Doug’s armed and has fully crept off the edge of sanity. We know this because Doug says it to himself a whole bunch.

These girls need father figures and less gift cards to Hot Topic

The final 15 or so minutes of the film has Doug picking off the DDDs one by one with a gun, knives, and other casual weapons found around the house. The graphic violence is kept to a minimum – besides a few instances of blood and some prop fingers there’s really no gore. Creepersin explains why in the commentary. If all of this sounds a tad misogynistic, it is. I understand its playful, comedy-horror context, but the girls never stand a chance as Doug plows through them like a greasy boar in a Hawaiian shirt. I’m cool with Doug being the last man standing, but he could have at least taken a few good blows from the girls. I find it boring to watch a hulking slob buck down a group of unarmed women. Call me old fashioned.

I have to give Thomspon credit though. He’s a great slob. You can tell he got really into the role of Doug as he buffoons around giving his best serial killer grin. I honestly enjoyed watching him. The girls are pretty unremarkable. In scenes where they’re huddled up scheming their little pranks, you can witness some of the girls in frame looking incredibly bored. In one scene outside Doug’s neighbor’s house, the pink-haired girl is in the foreground looking marvelously uncomfortable. She even looks into the camera once or twice.

Even Doug's bored of this movie

Thanks to his poor editing skills, Creepersin maintains zero momentum throughout the entire film. But what could there be to possibly maintain when huge chunks of your movie is a schlub talking to himself in fragmented sentences? There are several painfully long takes of Doug having conversations with himself. It’s just dead air that adds up to probably 25 minutes of the film’s 70 minute run-time. My finger hovered over the fast-forward button for most of this shitshow.I think a funny prank would be to ring someone’s doorbell, leave this DVD on their stoop, then run away laughing like a maniac.

The Package

The behind the scene featurette is only nine minutes long but I laughed more during that than the entire film. Creepersin, who is a very large and intimidating man, explains how his inspiration for the film came from his own experience dealing with ding dong ditchers. He tells a humorous anecdote about how he was the victim once and decided to follow them around in his car, but then was afraid the cops would be called and he’d be busted for stalking children at night. Thompson goes over some of his method acting techniques, which included never interacting with the large female cast that he would later butcher.

There is a commentary track by Creepersin in which he goes into more detail about his motivation for the film. He explains how he was approached by a distributor that handled TV movies and they wanted him to shoot a PG-13ish horror movie. He shot Ding Dong Dead to see if he could pull it off – hence no graphic violence. He also mentions that porn legend Ron Jeremy was the other candidate to play Doug. There is another commentary track with Thompson and Creepersin.

Doug during better times


Out of a Possible 5 Stars