I don’t know where Garth Franklin gets all his links from. Dark Horizons links to the most obscure corners of the net, which I love – it makes the site one of my daily must-reads. Otherwise how would I ever know that “MyVideoStore.com” is reporting that Paramount is thinking about adapting the new Godfather novels into movies?
The completely unsourced (read as: 99.9% likely to be bullshit, but I have to write about something today) story says that following the success of the Godfather video game, Paramount is thinking about reviving the mobster franchise with adaptations of the new books that have been cashing in on the character names. They’re written by Mark Winegardner (now that’s the kind of name I hear a lot at my big Italian family functions. Fucking white people), who was supposedly hand picked by the Mario Puzo estate (I like to imagine with the help of a Ouija board) to corpse-fuck the Godfather epic right into the ground with books that have titles like – and these are real – The Godfather Returns and The Godfather’s Revenge. I look forward to Winegardner’s third book, The Godfather Rides Again.
The thing is that apparently (I haven’t read them) these books take place in between Godfather I and II and II and III, respectively. That means that you’d have to hire actors to play Michael Corleone when he was still young Al Pacino. That kind of thing wouldn’t faze Universal and their shitty direct-to-DVD prequel department, but I don’t think Paramount is that depraved… yet.
I would actually like to see these films get made just so that Pete Hammond, cocksucker movie quote whore extraordinaire from Maxim, would blurb “The Best Godfather Yet!” on the ads for The Godfather’s Revenge and we would finally have a decent excuse to blow up his house.
Note from Nick: I am sorta enjoying the audiobooks of Winegardner’s stories, but I’m officially convinced of Devin’s stance on the matter. He seems perturbed.