epic story of Mötley Crüe is finally coming to the big screen in the form of an adaptation of the tell-all book The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band. I haven’t read the book yet, but I am eager to – if just to see if the Crüe managed to top Led Zeppelin, who once fucked a groupie with a mudshark.

Now Vince Neil, bloated anus of a lead singer, has revealed that the film will have some incredible – and bizarre – cameos, as famous people step in to play famous musicians the band came into contact with. "We’re doing big, giant cameos with those people," he told ABC News.

The strangest of the cameos might be Christopher Walken, playing Ozzy Osbourne. According to ABC News, The Dirt revealed that while on tour with Crüe, Osbourne SNORTED A LINE OF LIVE ANTS. Jesus. He also took acid every day for a year “to see what would happen.” I think anyone who watched The Osbournes knows the outcome of that particular experiment. I imagine that Walken will be playing a pre-shuffling, modestly catatonic Ozzy.

Also appearing, according to Neil, will be Val Kilmer as Diamond Dave himself, David Lee Roth. Mötley Crüe will be played by unknowns, except for Nikki Sixx, who will be played by the fucked up girl who screamed “RACHEL!” in Pet Sematary. Look for The Dirt in theaters in 08.