I don’t even know why I’m running this – let’s chalk this one up to Halloween candy giddiness. I was visiting Deadspin when I came across a particularly strange story – Members of BIRO (Bigfoot Investigators and Researchers Organization) came back from a camping trip in California’s High Sierras with some photos that they claim show a Bigfoot fucking around with their car.
Best of all, he has a hard on. I am not making this up.
Here’s the entire press release:
After quality printing and enhancement, a Bigfoot photo taken 9/27/06 on an expedition in CA
can now be shown.
Bigfoot was photographed while unseen in High Sierras of CA, when members of
a camping trip
encountered screams by a possible Bigfoot in reponse to "Call blasting"
of other bigfoot screams, and found several old Bigfoot tracks. However,
during a walk around the other side of a pond at the El Dorado National Forest
Site, ( between Stockton and Lake Tahoe) Jon-Erik Beckjord investigated a spot where girlfriend Chris Pitts*
had seen a brief flash of what seemed like Bigfoot from the previous day,
and while standing there, took several photos of the campsite looking
across the pond. In two photos in 35mm color, using a pocket camera, there
appears to be a Bigfoot creature standing by a camp vehicle, looking back
at the camera. A head, torso, and a well-muscled arm are visible. Also, many people
are able to see a male organ on the creature in the photo. The head
has a strong and wide nose. In one shot, Ms Pitts is standing 30 feet away
and in the other, she is not visible. The film was 200 asa Kodak color print film. Shot 5 was normal view, and shot 6 was telephoto. Beckjord, the photographer, did not see the creature, some 200 feet away, as often happens
at this site during previous expeditions. Assuming the car is 5.5 ft in height, the creature looks to be about 10 ft. For some reason,
these creatures feel safer when men are out of the camp area, such as across a creek or pond, at least 200 feet away. (Perhaps
they are traumatized by deer hunters with rifles, and are cautious.) In any case, they are more timid than chimps
at Gombe Stream, where Dr. Jane Goodall did her research. Dr. Goodall has stated several times that she feels there is
possibility that such large primates as these may inhabit North America.
Several biologists have viewed the image, and one has been willing to make a limited statement. Dr. Thomas Tomasi
of SW Missouri State Univ., says that it looks to him like "a large unidentified primate".
People on the street, of all backgrounds, from doctors to clerks, say: "What’s that big monkey?"
Queries can be made at 510-878-2468 with email firstname.lastname@example.org
The photo on this page has a red circle around what Beckjord claims is Bigfoot cock. For more pictures, visit their site by clicking here.
*For some reason Chris Pitts is identified on the “Bigfoot schlong” page as being an “erotic artist.” Is Beckjord trying to give us a hint as to why Sasquatch has a chubby?