all human wisdom to the contrary, there is an actual CHiPs movie in the works. As previously announced, the film will star walking tween starlet deflowerer Wilmer Valderrama as Ponch, the part originally essayed by Erik “You’re a homo.jpg” Estrada. The big question looming over the mental defectives who are actually interested in this project has been: Who will play Jon, Ponch’s erstwhile bike and life partner?

The answer, according to Latino Review, is Chris Evans. Evans, who was without doubt the best thing in the first Fantastic Four movie, will begin shooting the CHiPs film right after he wraps up filming that sequel.

I thought that these big movie versions of shitty old TV shows ended with Starsky & Hutch, a movie I was convinced at the time was so unfunny that it was hilarious. I have since revised my opinion to reflect the idea that the movie is just old-fashioned not funny.

For those of you too young or without TVLand enough to know about CHiPs, it stands for California Highway Patrol, and it’s about motorcycle cops. I do have to admit that I still giggle every time I am on the California highways and see a real life CHiPs guy go by.