is stubbornly going ahead with Alien vs Predator 2 despite the UN Security Council’s latest attempts at negotiations. Talks between Tom Rothman and representatives from England, France and Honduras fell apart in the 11th hour when IAEA inspectors tried to confiscate Shane Salerno’s screenplay for the much-feared sequel.

As the world looked on in terror, Rothman announced that not only was his studio going forward with their Alien vs Predator 2-related programs, but that they had already acquired modestly enriched (and talented) basic cable and Fox TV actors to star in the film. Reiko Aylesworth, once seen on 24, and Steven Pasquale, from Rescue Me, will be the leads, and they will be reporting to the set in Vancouver next week as the global community counts down the days until Fox is able to unleash this movie.

Shane Salerno is also the screenwriter on CHUD’s own Nick Nunziata’s huge-ass shark movie, MEG, and I am sure that he’s a pretty great guy – but to be frank, if Tom Rothman turned his evil genius to resurrecting William Shakespeare and forcing him to write this film, I would still stand militantly and resolutely against it. Although if the Predators and Aliens threw down in iambic pentameter I might be a little less terrified of the eventual outcome. As it stands now, my Y2K bunker has been freshly restocked.