I know next to nothing about Eragon other than the fact it was probably called Dragon and its precocious author accidentally hit "E" and history was made. Christopher Paolini was 15 years old when he started the book which inspired the upcoming Fox fantasy flick, so I guess he gets a pass on some factors. I mean, it’s just a keystroke. I’m sure his eaddy is still very proud.

Here’s the premise of the story for those like me who only read things from 15 year olds if they’re left on our nightstand after some illicit sex:

Eragon, a young farm boy, finds a marvelous blue stone in a mystical
mountain place. Before he can trade it for food to get his family
through the hard winter, it hatches a beautiful sapphire-blue dragon, a
race thought to be extinct. Eragon bonds with the dragon, and when his
family is killed by the marauding Ra’zac, he discovers that he is the
last of the Dragon Riders, fated to play a decisive part in the coming
war between the human but hidden Varden, dwarves, elves, the diabolical
Shades and their neanderthal Urgalls, all pitted against and allied
with each other and the evil King Galbatorix. Eragon and his dragon
Saphira set out to find their role, growing in magic power and
understanding of the complex political situation as they endure
perilous travels and sudden battles, dire wounds, capture and escape.

Uh? Oh hi, sorry. I zoned out with all the fatasy jobber-jabber. Has this genre already gotten tired? The reason this article exists is due to the fact that the trailer has arrived, something which is a little more collected and finished than the materials shared at this year’s San Diego Comic Con from what I surmise. There’s not a moment in the clip (linked below) which feels new and if there’s an odder choice for a fantasy king than John Malkovich, please display him. I thought I was watching the latest Uwe Boll film, one where some of the money actually made it to the screen. Though I long for faithful and impactful adaptations of Phillip Pullman’s fantasy books, I really think the genre has been dealt a quick creative death after the majesty of The Lord of the Rings. Eragon really looks like a flick that is better served as a miniseries on SciFi or some other channel devoted to people who don purple leather and sit on convention floors comparing their sacks of colorful stones but the box office take of my despised Narnia probably just makes me look like a grumpy dick. Judge for yourself, unless you disagree with me.