Entertainment Weekly scored the first official pic of Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton in the upcoming Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters from Dead Snow director Tommy Wirkola. And boy, does it look like a sequel to Van Helsing. This is appropriate however, because I have read a draft of the script and you know what? It reads like a sequel to Van Helsing! Hooo boy.
Look, I’m an easy mark for this sort of gothicy, steampunky fairy tale monster movie crap. I always end up seeing these mid-tier, overdesigned horror actioners and they are always, always mediocre. Even with my fore-knowledge of how terrible this script is, I will likely be seeing this bunk in the theaters early next year, when it inevitably tanks. Renner has a bunch of high profile movies dropping in the next twelve months, and I’m sure Arterton will show up in something decent eventually, but yeah, this thing has the stink of Van Helsing all over it. I’m betting we’re all going to wish this Hansel and Gretel stayed in the oven.