PART I OF PART IV can be found by clicking here.

Here are the exit interview questions that The Spymunk agreed to answer.

ANDERSON What is the Spymunk?

Spymunk I am the Spymunk and the Spymunk is me. I guess it’s kind of like Batman. I call myself Spymunk and you call me The Spymunk. I’m happy that I’m one-of-a-kind enough to be a “the”, I must admit. Spymunk is into horror movies, animation and having a good time.

ANDERSON If God is a woodland creature, what would you want to do first to please your forest lord?

Spymunk

I’m an atheist, but a certain woodland creature probably is as far as I’ll get to acknowledging a god. He’s not exactly a woodland creature, though — he’s a city boy. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy a good camping trip, of course. There’s a good episode of the original Alvin Show that’s all about that. As for pleasing him, I’d do whatever it took, and then I’d do it all over again. I don’t imagine he’d be displeased with some of the things I’ve mentioned wanting to do previously. I’m open to his new desires. Cleanliness is, after all, next to godlinees. Yum.

ANDERSON Size Queen vs. Rice Queen: Who wins?

Spymunk

I don’t know what a Rice Queen is, but it’s probably like a size queen. I am a confirmed Size Queen. Of course, we’re talking chipmunk sizes here, but even then Alvin has a lot to offer the world.

ANDERSON What’s your favorite swear word.

Spymunk
Well, fuckbuckets! I don’t make a habit of swearing, but that one seems to accomplish so much with so little, and employes the classic fuck in a way not commonly used. I like things that play off of basic expectations and take them in a different direction.


ANDERSON Tell us about that odd time you ended up naked somewhere where you weren’t supposed to be.

Spymunk
I’ve never had this happen to me, ever. I don’t have too much to say about that.

ANDERSON Commit any sex crimes?

Spymunk
No – never. I believe in consent. I also believe people who abuse power or privilege are the worst kind of evil shit. I think people who abuse other people are weak and feeble-minded. I think that it’s important to make sure that no person is ever used in a relationship.

ANDERSON Would you fuck a Snork or are you a one Chipmunk man?

Spymunk
I would never fuck a Snork, for two reasons. One, I’m not into Michael Bell like that. Two, Snorks don’t do anything for me, and there is no Snork whose personality I like – it’s not just about looks. It’s about personality!

ANDERSON If you had to fit the Hope Diamond in your ass, could you?

Spymunk
I don’t really want to get into this question, because I don’t consider myself tense enough to get a diamond up my ass or to even want to.

ANDERSON Show me that song you were working on.

Spymunk
 No Comment.

ANDERSON  What do you want your final words to be?

Spymunk
What the heck is that?!?

That’s it for Spymunk. He might stop by again. Up later this week are the erotic stylings of X-Men Slash Writer Billy Randolph.