I’d been toying with the idea now to answer questions from people if they asked. Yes I know Mr. Nick Nunziata, and Mr. Ken Savage already have done this, but I figured I’d do it as well. Here are my first round questions.

Bucho asks

Hey Rene,

Is it true that even though you’re a teacher by trade you also happen to be the fastest draw in Santa Rosa and have killed more men than smallpox?

Rene answers: Indeed I am. I’ve killed everything that walks or crawled at some point.

felix asks

Hi Rene,

Just checking. But what’s the worst movie you ever saw? Or disliked intensely?

Rene answers: I’ve seen a lot of terrible movies that I’ve hated, but the one movie that comes to mind from recent memory is THE WARRIOR’S WAY. I had seen the trailer, and it looked like a good time. I dragged Vanessa to see it, and right from the beginning, she didn’t want to see it. I kept telling her it was going to be a good movie, then we see it, and it turns out to be a terrible piece of shit. She was right in not wanting to see it. I feel bad, mostly for making her go see it with me since we both hated it, and I was out 18 bucks on it.

duke fleed asks

Rene (Mr.Eko), Is it true that…Big Lots, will have a special wing for you because of all the DVDs you bought?

Rene answers: duke fleed, at the 3 Big Lots that I frequent, I do have several aisles dedicated to me. Plus I have a 50% discount card, so that’s pretty awesome too.

Mister Falcon

Who would win in a fight: William Fichtner or Walt Goggins?

Rene answers: William Fichtner is a demi-God, but Walt Goggins has fought Space Faggots. HOWEVER, Walt Goggins got killed by the Space Faggots, and William Fichtner is still around to smile and put broken baseball bats into Todd Farmer. Another point against Walt Goggins is that he threw out a guy from his camp in Justified for Onanism. If you saw the guy, you’d know Onanism would be his only “love.”

So with that all put together, and it would be a touch choice at that, I think it would be a draw. I’m not copping out here. Fichtner would know some kind of awesome martial art, BUT Goggins would have this down and dirty hillbilly fighting style. They would both beat each other senseless, wait until they heal, then start the fight all over again.

Ken Savage

Where is the microfilm?

Rene answers: It’s in Kansas, Womack. That’s all you’ll get outta me until I get my suite at the Fairmont Hotel.

S.D. Bob Plissken asks

Hey Rene,

Are you my Bennett………………………..or am I yours?

Rene answers: You’re definitely my Bennett. So come on. LET’S PARTY!

Erix asks

Okay… Traditional Cheese or Cool Ranch flavor? Inquiring minds want to know.

Also… Pringles or Lays “Stax” or whatever the fuck they’re called? Help me out here.

Furthermore… Cheddar or Jack?

And, finally, creamy or crunchy?

Rene answers: Cool Ranch flavor. It’s nice and tasty. I’m a Ruffles fanatic, but I do love my Pringles as well. I just try not to stick my hand all the way in. Jack cheese. If that’s not all that’s available, Swiss cheese, because I like the holes in it. Creamy. I can’t stand my peanut butter with the peanuts still in it. If I want that, I’ll eat peanuts. Creamy is smooth. Just the way I like it.

S.D. Bob Plissken asks

Dear Mr. Rangel,

Boxers or briefs?

Point Break or Bad Boys II?

Rene answers: Boxer-briefs! Just the right level of comfort. Briefs, too constrictive, boxers, has that hole where your donger can just pop out and say hello. Without your permission.

That’s a tough choice. Point Break has Angelo Pappas, and a lot of certifiably great quotes, but Bad Boys II has insane action, and the line “THIS IS SOME SICK SHIT!” I’m going to have to go with Bad Boys II. This is the true essence of what is BAYHEM. The freeway chase, the extended action climax, and the movie isn’t afraid to get gory. It just barely edges out Point Break. Lowry and Burnett wouldn’t hesitate to shoot the villain. Even if he’d started up a bromance with them. Plus Bodhi led Utah on that awesome extended chase. After all that AND fucking up his knee? He should at least have shot him in the leg.

Still I love both films a lot. They’re both classics.

Anybody want to ask any other questions, feel free to go to the thread in the BLOGS section and post them. I’m going to try to make this a weekly thing. Thanks to everyone who asked questions!