I’m not a very big fan of Infernal Affairs. Shoot me. Please don’t.

To me it was an above average flick that was made beloved more for the fact that it was as polished as a Hollywood picture but it wasn’t made in Hollywood than because it’s some latter day Lethal Weapon. It was smart, had some twists and turns, and was entertaining. If it had been released here, it’d have been a nice solid little flick but because it wasn’t and all things from Asia are instantly perfect I literally have to dodge the ejaculate of fanboys flying all around my forehead over the thing. That may also be due in part to my title as Come Face of the Americas.


The above paragraph is filled with exaggeration. The author of this article does not LITERALLY think that "
all things from Asia are instantly perfect" in the eyes of every human being. He does not also have to constantly dodge the ejaculate of fanboys. The author apologizes for using the editorial freedom to tell jokes and upset people for whom Infernal Affairs is indeed better than stardust and bunnies. To all offended parties, I apoligize. I will buy you a soda.

***End of Update***

As you are aware, The Departed is the American version of said Asian sensation except instead of starring B-List names and being directed by some flashy prick from that music video channel whose name eludes me, it’s got the best cast you could possibly imagine and is being directed by a man so Godly it’s a miracle Mel Gibson isn’t flagellating in front of him.

Scorsese. Nicholson (Not Dana-Wheeler, DAMMIT), DiCaprio, Damon, Lord Baldwin, and Mr. Mark Wahlberg. My dreams don’t even have a cast this good because even dreams have a reality cap. Yeah, I’m overhyped about it and yeah, a few folks have told me the film isn’t all that. To those people I say "GO TO HELL YOU ANIMAL" and continue drooling for this.

I need to go to the bathroom. I’ve thought myself into a frenzy.

Watch this trailer right now and then email the people at Warner Bros. that this is a better place to debut such a beautiful, sensual bit of celluloid.

Oh, by the way… I liked the trailer.