While writing about this makes me feel almost as foolish as when they announced a Slinky movie (they really did), the fact that someone will make millions from this idea merely leaves me queasy.
Empire Pictures and Transcience Corp. are working on an animated feature film starring The Amazing Sea Monkeys, those wee beasties that were ubiquitously advertised in comic books during my childhood. While these barely sentient “pets” are just tiny shrimp-like water creatures that constantly swim in circles, the movie will apparently give them some semblance of personality rather than rely solely on the brand name.
Considering producer Michael Birnbaum was behind John Tucker Must Die, expect each of the monkeys to have their own MySpace page shortly. "I grew up with Sea-Monkeys," says Birnbaum, perhaps referring to his early years spent in a miniature tank. "The property’s instant name recognition on a global basis makes it a platform from which to launch an animated film franchise."
Coming soon: The Terror of Jenga, Mr. Mouth: the Movie, Assault of the Hungry Hungry Hippos, and Junk You Begged Your Parents to Buy.