You have a comment and don’t want to send a letter? Please click HERE and pipe up on the message boards. Please? That thread is deader than Persis Khambatta. Now that I’ve gotten another Leak out of me, the letters are coming nice and steady. Makes me think I oughta keep it up. And I am, expect a new Leak next week. What, it’s my birthday next week? Wow, thanks for remembering!
Here’s the letters.
Verbose and Good!
issue with what "Feline Goddess" wrote. That person claimed that the
magazine reviews have been uniform in praising Superman Returns and thus your assertion that the (online) reviewers couldn’t be trusted was suspect. I would like to return the favor and ask Ms. Goddess how
many of those published reviews came from magazines that are owned by
(or affiliated with) Time Warner, the very same entity that also
happens to own Warner Bros. Pictures? Time Warner has a lot to lose
if this film tanks…and its more than the $250 million spent on the
production budget. To my knowledge, that price tag does not include
the marketing costs, nor does it include the millions that Warners
spent over a decade-and-a-half trying to relaunch the franchise and
consequently wasting it on stalled productions as well as the payola
they gave to Tim Burton and Nicolas Cage for accomplishing nothing.
To me, I find everything to do with this film completely insincere.
Warner Bros. seems to be emulating Halliburton in doing whatever it
takes – except making a film we actually want to see – to artificially
ensure the flick is a hit. The difference between the two companies
is that Warners does not seem to have a competent Dick Cheney
character pulling the strings but instead has plenty of execs like Jon
"Giant Frikkin’ Spider" Peters calling the shots.
Case point. When you are a giant media company and have a hit
television series, you ultimately try to transition that series to the
big screen. Take for example Paramount. When *Star Trek – The Next
Generation* was ending, Paramount had already decided to transition
the series to feature films. When this happened, did Paramount recast
all the leads with well-known "motion picture" actors? For example,
did Rick Berman decide to give Patrick Stewart the boot and replace
him with Ed Harris? The answer is "no". Or how about Fox with *The
X-Files*? I cannot seem to recall John Cusak replacing David Duchovny
in the lead role. In both cases, the studios were smart enough not to
alienate their fanbases. Warners had a chance to do the same with
Smallville but instead chose to give the cast and its fanbase the
cold shoulder. And yet they expect those very fans to buy tickets in
order to justify their own incompetent decision making skills? No
If Warners collectively had a brain, they would have transitioned the
cast of Smallville to the big screen to relaunch the studio’s
Superman franchise. This is not meant to praise the writing of the
series, but the cast. There have been plenty of times that the
writing on the series has made me groan, especially with its slavish
reliance upon "freak of the week" plotting that was tired even when
Kolchak was smiting Chicago area monsters while engaging in verbal
judo with his boss Vincenzo on a weekly basis. Yet what works with
the series is the cast. Do I think Tom Welling deserves to wear the
red & blue on the silver screen? The answer is "without a doubt,
yes". Do I prefer Erica Durance to Kate Bosworth? Duh! And would
I rather see a multi-layered performance made by Michael Rosenbaum
over Kevin Spacey’s "Dr. Evil" take on Lex Luthor? Of course. But as
a fan, I am not receiving any of this.
Instead of giving the fanbase a movie that it wanted, Warners is
giving fans a film that is merely a rehash of the Donner films with
extra special effects. Even worse, they’ve literally "jumped the
shark" by introducing a kid into the plot; a character that has
already been tagged online as "Superbastard". Sorry, but adding
children backfired on Alf and *Married with Children* a long time
ago. Perhaps when the next management team at Warners decides to give
the franchise a proper reboot, we’ll see a picture of Superman’s kid
appear on the back of a prop milk carton on the set exactly like what
happened on *Married with Children when Seven was rightfully cut from
the show. Now that would be funny. And once again, we are treated
with a lame interpretation of Lex Luthor who this time is scheming to
recreate Cobra Island out of Kryptonite. I sure hope Larry Hama is
receiving a royalty check from this, and if not, I hope he strikes up
a conversation with Ted Newsom on how to deal with studios who
"borrow" story elements without offering compensation in return. But
out of fairness, I won’t address the homoerotic nature of Lex
"penetrating" Superman with a Kryptonite shard that infects his blood
because well, that is just too easy and I would not want to be labeled
as an online slash fiction writer.
In conclusion, if people like Feline Goddess wish to trust "plant"
reviews written months ago, then so be it. I’d prefer to not see the
film in order to teach Warners to listen to its fans instead of
dictating what the fans wish to see. The lessons learned from *Batman
& Robin* taught Warners to respect the Batman character and the end
result was that the majority of the fans subsequently embraced *Batman
Begins*. Perhaps Warners will learn to do the same with Superman.
Maybe then when the so-called "Metropolis" (sequel film to
Smallville themed film hits the silver screen, we can all agree
that Superman has returned. But until then, I think I’ll spend my
movie dollars on seeing the return of Captain Jack just like the rest
of the general public will this summer.
Nick’s Reply: Well said. I will never "get" the appeal of Smallville but I’m the guy who doesn’t watch Battlestar Galactica either. That said, preach on!
Batman Begins Fan Naught.
…IS such an incredibly overrated bore that each time
someone brings it up as some sort of high water mark
for comic movies I want to fucking vomit.
But that’s what movies are all about, those who have
taste (anyone who enjoyed the hell of out Superman
Returns) and those who don’t (The Batman Begins(to get
lame ten minutes in) crowd and anyone who defends
their like of that piece of shit X-3).
And for the love of Christ, I wish people would stop
glorifying the Donner films (the first two). They
would have been shit without Reeve owning the role as
he did, and they are almost pathetically laughable
even with him present.
Otis and Gene Hack….man, et all can suck my ass.
Terrible camp all around, and a Lois who as much sex
appeal as Bea Fucking Arthur.
Nick’s Reply: Holy shit. You’re bonkers!
Nick’s Reply: When I got my so called foot in the so called door there was really no door. About a decde ago, sites like these (or mailing lists, as this originated) were out there but there was no real set of standards and the film business had no grasp on how to deal with it. I get this question a lot and I always cringe a little. Most everyone has their minds set on the benefits: the free screenings, the early screenings, the DVD screeners, and all that jazz. It’s a cause and effect thing and I think it needs to be. You need to earn those benefits in my mind. Once you have an editorial focus, opinions that offer something to folks, the work ethic, and the writing ability and web design ability to make them all come across you start doing your thing. Eventually, people will notice and you’ll get a crack at the perks. My advice: Don’t copy anyone. Don’t expect goodies and don’t do it for the goodies as they’re a blessing and a curse. Do it out of passion always. Otherwise, you’ll just be one of those rotten apples that spoil it for the others.
Not for Nothin’
Re: Your comics rant.
I’m not really sure I see your point. If there are more indie books being published now than ever before and you even admit an abundance of quality stuff is on the shelves, how do you arrive at "all I see is a medium that losts its way and became a goddamn chore."? There has always been mainstream, trendy, over-hyped crap, and there always will be. It’s nothing new, and it doesn’t spell the death of the industry, much less the medium. I go to the shop almost every Wednesday and see that crap staring me in the face. I usually walk right past and pick up some quality comics. Is it that hard to ignore or fight against (with your wallet)?
Your editorial sounds dangerously like the complaints of someone out of the loop and pissed about it. Someone…well, old. Especially that Manga comment.
Glad to see the leak back,
Nick’s Reply: There’s no loop to be in. You either go to the shop or you don’t. The rant was more a look at the business with disgust and sadness, and a lot of that comes from the shit Wizard chooses to cover and how they do it but also at how many of the indie stuff is being done to create a property rather than create a compelling contribution to the medium. Dave Davis and Sean Fahey will eventually do a much better job than I.
We Choose Well.
P.S. Ever seen Little Otik, a rather bizarre but hilarious film from the Czech Republic?
Nick’s Reply: I have seen Otik and have it proudly in my collection under "W" for Wood Beings Who Kill. The next little film you’ll want to recommend to everyone is The Amateurs, starring Jeff Bridges. Really fun stuff.
Earth Was Askin’ For It.
Nick’s Reply: I think this is a response to Devin’s review of Gore’s film or an article on it. I also like the fact that this person (firstname.lastname@example.org) isn’t biased at all.
Your reviews suck
Nick’s Reply: So, you’re a fan, email@example.com. I have not pleased firstname.lastname@example.org with the review prowess of CHUD.com. Of the many readers out there, one of the biggest fans is not email@example.com.
SPAM OF THE DAY!
chuck i never got an email 4rm her! sorry i was just excited but now im sad well i hoe she does so uknow cuz i just want to meet her!! or talk to her thats all even on the phone come on pleze!!!where does she act i want to act there too!!!!!