Mailbagsukidoji:

Your letters. My smartass replies.Hey folks,

You have a comment and don’t want to send a letter? Please click HERE and pipe up on the message boards. Please? That thread is deader than Ralph Bellamy. Now that I’ve gotten another Leak out of me, the letters are coming nice and steady. Makes me think I oughta keep it up.

Here’s the letters.

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Photo From Life.


Would you eat anything that came out of this vehicle?

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Reviews, the Web, and You!

Mitch to the left!Nick writes:

So it is funny…. Well not funny, but coincidental that the last few months or so I have had the same reactions to the nature of reviews as yourself and agree whole heartedly. In fact I feel the same way about any media, in that be it news print, radio, whatever, there is always an agenda that the motivations need to be ferreted out in order to get the painfully small morsel of real information that is worthwhile. I digress and get back to the movie reviews:

I had always noticed that it seemed like Reviews were different before the release of a movie, but for some reason it didn’t click with me the extent until I noticed the tomato meter of Nacho libre. It was halfway decent prior to opening then now down to a paltry 35%. Not that I give a crap about if the movie is good or not (or about the pop barometer tomatometer…. I find it entertaining to compare to my own reactions), just the extent at which the sleight of hand is executed. Or in the case of Superman, there is nothing slight about it. Superman could be an amazing movie as the “reviews” claim…. I will go see it, and would even if they were all bad, but it is truly a shame that this is the way things go. What it means is that event movies will continue to be events, and small wonderful gems like Kiss kiss bang bang, will continue to go barely noticed until DVD, if at all.

Thanks for voicing your disdain as it is my disdain as well. Keep up the great site. Although I don’t always agree with yourself, Devin, or the rest of the wonderful cast. I certainly always respect it and make Chud a part of my daily routine. Thanks again

Nick’s Reply: I appreciate the clicks. Tell your friends! We have to get investors excited about CHUD.com so they give us what we need to make our movie! As for reviews, since the dawn of film there’s been a weird sense of "who is this critic writing for?’, and film criticism accepted as anything less than entertainment in my mind is defeatist. That said, at our best, we’re helping people decide where to spend their valuable dough and if we connect on some level tastewise with some folks we have an obligation to stay the course and not be blindsided by extraneous bullshit. My contemporaries, some of them, are losing a grip. That said, may I make a nice big "THIS GUY IS LEGIT" cyber-hug to Collider’s Jeremy "Mr. Beaks" Smith? We saw a flick together (oh, and it’s very excellent and subtitled) last night and just from chatting I was reminded how solid a writer and reviewer that cat is.

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Not the Red Tuft.

Mitch to the right.Shane writes:

Is this by any chance a reaction to Harold Knowles embarrasingly obvious asskissing to Supes? Dang. You cannot be anymore biased than this clown–Xmen III is shit, Supes is golden, etc. yak yak for a solid year. Does this guy have ‘film producer options’ w/ Warner’s or what? He wishes.
Anyways. Good article.

Nick’s Reply: I was not referring to anyone in particular, no. I do feel that a lot of the reviews sites run from their readers are tainted as Hell. I have gotten about 15 reviews of Superman Returns sent in from "readers" and I filed them accordingly.

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None-ziata.

Mitch to the left!Mike writes:

Thank you. A hard day’s work and a Steady Leak to come home to. I’m a constant CHUD reader, never miss a day or two, but I’ll be damned if something isn’t missing and that’s you. Thanks for another great read.

Nick’s Reply: I’ll try to be less missing.

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The Goods.

Mitch to the left!Andrew writes:

I just want to interrupt my work for a moment to thank you for this fine Steady Leak Return. It has always been my favorite Chud feature (besides The Prognosticator…..WHERE IS IT?!), and I have missed it. Sure the Leak Letters helped get me through some days, but I really care to read more of your words, and less of your SPAM mail.

There’s something about your commentary that I really enjoy more than the others. Devin is a fun writer, but his tastes are too uneven. He likes the mean-spirited boring intellectual characters from the Squid and The Whale, but hates Deadwood? That’s not right. You don’t condescend the way he does. PLUS you’re always good for excellently placed Lobot and Levine references.

So yes, thanks for taking the time. I love the PODCASTS as well. Don’t stop doing them. They are worth your time (to me anyway).

If Chud ran… again I shower you with compliments.

I click on Chud at least 15 times a day and have done so for over 5 years.

Nick’s Reply: Devin reels in the intelluctuals, though! Food groups, man. We each have our value. Granted, I am a fucking geyser of brilliance but there’s only 24 hours…

Sorry, thought I was looking into the mirror. I appreciate the note. I think that when this site is at its best, it’s from a variety of folks contributing. We need a daily news guy/gal to handle the bulk of the news that hits, which will allow for Devin, Dave, myself, and if there’s a God, Russ to make this site as great as it can be. With the other folks kicking ass with CC, Fetal, and the upcoming SewerChewer site, we’ll be rock solid. Oh, and don’t give up on NP. It’s coming back strong.

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Pussy Saviour.

Mitch to the right.Feline Goddess writes:

I’ll say this flat out. Don’t trust a goddamn single one of the Superman Returns reviews on the web. Not a one.

The PROFESSIONAL reviews have all been glowing – so your position loses all credibility.


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How We’ve Changed.

Mitch to the left!Joe writes:

That was quite possibly one of the best Leak columns that I think i’ve ever read. Very balls to the wall, harsh on everyone (including yourself and the site), with that gnashing of teeth just behind the words. Welcome back :)
I really enjoyed your commentary on Internet movie reviews. Spot-on. I’ve noticed lately how much my moviegoing experience has changed due to sites such as CHUD (nothing against you guys, I enjoy the site thoroughly). The plethora of information that surrounds us every second is mind-numbing, and has completely changed perspectives.

If we head back 10 years, I remember when the first time I heard about a new movie coming out, it came from a trailer. You didn’t hear the stories (other than by rumors between friends) about how this actor had these issues and dropped out, or how a script was out there floating, waiting to be picked up. And while we’re on the subject of trailers, remember when that was a mystical moment in the theater? In years past, seeing a trailer was like peeking into the door of another world. You had 2-3 minutes to peek your head into another reality, and salivate over what you saw. Today, I have a hard time not naming the film within 10 seconds of the start of it. Trailers are no longer fun; they’re business. It all points to the core of the problem – information. We know about every small detail that happens months before a movie is released, and it has started to taint the experience.

I’m lucky enough to see a screening on Superman Returns this next week. As a huge Superman fan, this is a pretty big deal for me. Before, I would probably shit myself at my good fortune. Now, it’s kind of ho-hum. I’m now walking into the theater with a biased opinion due to the insane amount of coverage on this film. I’ve already decided what I will and will not enjoy about the movie, and I haven’t even seen the fucking thing yet! Without even making a hard effort at recieving information about the film, I know who’s playing what roles (no matter how major or minor they are), a general plot of the film, heard the soundtrack, seen the sets, etc, etc, fucking etc. I’ve pretty much seen the film without sitting in a chair and actually watching it. I’m sure I’ll be suprised at one turn or another, but rather than enjoy the suprise, I’ll be considering how I didn’t know about that twist. There are times where I wish I could sponge my brain so that I could go into a film and not know anything about it.

Perhaps I’ve become jaded, but it seems to me that perhaps not knowing about a film is better than knowing. Maybe we should stop focusing on the details, and simply try to enjoy the film for what it is, rather than chewing about it’s details. Maybe I’m just slowly becoming a cranky old bastard of a man. Who knows? In any case, I doubt I will change my habits. I am a glutton for punishment, and this slim window of sanity and vision will surely be closed by the time I click send.

In any case, I’m taking your article to heart; I’ll watch Superman next week, and read the reviews (which I honestly never give more than a glance to). I may be looking at it from a different perspective than what your article suggests, but I’m almost positive it will be illuminating and possibly even amusing at times. Thanks again for a great Leak, and for reading this.

Nick’s Reply: I think that once the lights go out and the sound and image kick in, when there’s no cell phones, pets, kids, traffic, and religious zealots trying to cram into your head a movie is still a movie whether you know everything or nothing about it.

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I’m a Dicktreater.

Mitch to the right.Patrick writes:

I’ve had my ups and down with your message boards and you treating me like a dick and ultimately getting banned for no good reason, but I’ve got to tell you, the “Peter Mayhew. The guy who’s uglier than Ace Frehley” comment made me laugh out loud.

Nick’s Reply: Thanks!

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Anti-Trust.

Mitch to the left!Margaret writes:

So glad you’re back! I’ve been a long-time reader. I have to admit I haven’t been too excited by the reviews out there either. I don’t put too much stock in them…I try to see the trailers and decide for myself whether or not to go to the theater or wait to rent the DVD. And I also wondered how there could be “review” quotes for movies that weren’t even finished yet. I do have to say that when Devin trashes a movie, I usually look forward to it because I almost always disagree with him. I feel he just doesn’t “get” silly comedy. Some of us have mundane jobs and look forward to some mindless guffaws now and again. I’ll keep reading reviews online anyway…I just won’t believe everything I read. Keep up the good work!

Nick’s Reply: If Devin hates silly comedies, I’m going to rue the day I sent him 11 Colonels ATTACK!.

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Podcast.

Mitch to the right.Andy writes:

Hey there. Andy from Springfield, MO. I’ve loved the
site for a long time and I just recently bought an
iPod. I’ve been running through your podcasts while I
work in the stockroom at the local Target. In episode
nine, I believe, you requested an e-mail response from
your listeners. This is mine.

I love listening to you show and I am eagerly
anticipating the next episode. I get a lot of strange
looks when I through fits of laughter during the
middle of work. Keep up the excellence, both with the
podcasts and the site in general.

Two things I would love more of on the podcasts:
1.) Dave Davis.
2.) Degrading pseudo-celebrity interviews.

Nick’s Reply: I’ll do what I can. Dave has a sexy voice, doesn’t he? It’s amazing what a sexy voice and a bag of candy does for that guy.

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SPAM OF THE DAY!

Mitch to the left!

David writes:

There are split second of life when you are not fully self-reliant in yourself. This can happened because of many many possible reasons work accent, body fatigue, bad mood or just a bad climate. And the poorest case is when you can not slake the your inamorata. This is when we come to help you and restore your sensual strength and your manhood confidence.

Mr. Grunt and Point’s Reply: Apparently, Jean-Claude Van Damme has discovered email.