Right now the buzz is all kicked up for a meta-textual horror film sequel about a fan of a gross-out movie who attempts to recreate the contents of that film in his own sick way. While that movie may be about sewing human beings together, ass-to-mouth, and pushing boundaries as far as possible, if it’s successful perhaps we’ll see Fox Searchlight decide to greenlight a similar sequel to Danny Boyle’s amazing 127 Hours.

All they have to do is buy the life rights of one dumbass named Amos Wayne Richards.

I call him a dumbass not because he retraced the steps of Aron Ralston after being inspired by the Oscar-nominated film, but because he was also apparently inspired by the part about not telling anyone where the fuck you’re going which, frankly, is pretty much the most important concept to take away from that film (also: bring a sharp knife). Richards didn’t catch on to that particular bit of deep, well-hidden subtext in the film though and went whole hog with his recreation to the point that when he tripped and fell 10 feet in a ravine very near where Ralston fucked off his own arm with a pocket knife, he wasn’t found for nearly four days. Yeesh, he couldn’t even wait out another day and half to at least have a 128-hour long predicament to best Ralston that way? Hell, then we could have had a King of Kong-style rivalry in which Ralston and Richards returned to the Utah desert each year to break a part of themselves and be lost for increasingly long amounts of time! Bummer.

Let’s pile on this guy, shall we?

Richards was also poorly stocked, having only two protein bars with him. He didn’t have to resort to piss-drinking as he was free to drag himself about and find rain-water, but I’m sure it was a hungry four days. Using GPS and his own footprints he had dragged himself back to within a few miles of his car when a helicopter picked him up. He was lightly dehydrated and needed a cast, but retains all limbs and will most certainly get no book deal. So essentially a much dumber person did a similar, but far less dramatic recreation of a famous event in someone’s life… sounds perfect for a direct-to-video sequel, no?

Reports I just made up that, “…Richards was also taking the journey to research the look, feel, and aura of the environment of Ralston’s famous entrapment in order to better flesh out his 127 Hours slash-fic novella, which he hopes will be a gripping romance story of love between man and boulder,” can not be confirmed or denied.

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(via Gawker)