If you don’t want to read tons of extraneous wanking, here’s the bottom line: Glen Larson is being paid by the Weinstein Company to prepare a Knight Rider movie for theatrical release. Of course, you have plenty of sites that post that kind of hard-hitting content. Now, allow me to waste some of your time…

Look, I could care about Knight Rider. The show was fun I suppose but there’s no real loyalty in my bones for any show that stars David Hasselhoff and a Cylon Raider car. That said, the K.A.R.R. (Knight Automated Roving Robot) is a vehicle to respect and cherish. With that in mind, I totally expect a faction of the web reading populace to see this press release and dream of purer times and begin squishing their stress ball in preparation for a long night of blogging against the idea of a Knight Rider movie produced by Harvey Weinstein. Heck, a movie in general. Imagine the idea of such a transcendent and life-altering television show being converted into a film. It’s a pride shattering blow akin to the Mother Theresa swimsuit calendar I keep hanging above my stroke couch. Is it neccessary? Sure it is! Knight Rider is a Quarter Pounder With Cheese of a television show and to the hardcore fans I say this: Screw your memories. It’s freaking Knight Rider, the story of a man with a surgically altered face and the car he talks with. Most of you young pups probably only know the show as the inspiration for that slightly overloved Gary Coleman photo.

See, I think it’s funny. Harvey has been a hero of mine since discovering his Troy Duffy beatdown, almost enough of a coup to soften the residual Mimic hatred. Weinstein is like D.W. Griffith, Howard Hughes, and Captain Trips all together and it’s great.

Of course, I’m full of it. There’s not going to be some fan backlash. The original creator is writing it and today’s technology can make a K.I.T.T. that’s at least as cool as the robot from Judge Dredd.

Beneath the inspirational image lies the press release in full, proof positive that I have mastered the art of both the control-c and the control-v keystrokes. You’re welcome. I believe they used the font from the Red Lobster menu, which makes it a delicious press release.

2006) The Weinstein Company has acquired the rights to develop and produce a
feature film based on the original hit television series "Knight
Rider." The rights were purchased from Glen A. Larson (“Knight
Rider,” “Magnum P.I.” “Fall Guy,” “Battlestar
Galactica”), the original creator of the television show, and he will
write the script and executive produce the project through his production
company Glen A. Larson Productions. David Price brought the project to
The Weinstein Company’s attention and will co-produce it.

Based on the 1980’s hit television series,
“Knight Rider” is a revenge story about a police investigator who
is shot on the job and left to die. Nursed back to health by a mysterious
millionaire, he regains consciousness a new man with a new face and a new name:
Michael Knight. His mysterious benefactor provides Michael with equipment and
support so that he can continue his crime fighting work and ultimately get
revenge on the people who left him to die.

Harvey Weinstein stated, “I am a huge fan of the
original series and could not be happier that we’ve joined forces with
Glen Larson to bring these iconic characters to the big screen.”

Larson stated, “Teaming up with Harvey and Bob,
with their unparalleled success in motion picture, gives Knight Rider an
exciting opportunity to be a breakout franchise.”

The original hit television show ran on NBC from 1982
through 1986 and starred David Hasselhoff as Michael Knight.

Production executives Brendan Deneen and Eric Robinson,
will oversee the project on behalf of The Weinstein Company reporting to
Michael Cole, co-president of production.

Eric Roth, executive vice president of business and legal
affairs, negotiated the deal on behalf of The Weinstein Company. Skip
Brittenham, Stephen Espinoza and Barry Felsen negotiated on behalf of Larson.