Taylor Lautner’s not-ready-for-the-big-screen nostrils are going to be hitting homes on VOD in an aggressive new business model for Lionsgate as they take his sure to be awful Abduction (cutting-edge poster analysis) and send it screaming towards the home market a scant three months after people don’t see it theaters.

If you haven’t seen the trailer yet you need to get off your ass and continue to not see it. Remember when you were a kid and you made home movies with your friends and you were all playing cops and robbers and you were 12? This looks sort of like that. A nicely budgeted studio film with real people holding the cameras and pointing fingers and manipulating lights with an infant in front of the lens. Taylor Lautner is wildly successful and has a massive fan base but it looks as if an action hero’s double’s little brother was filling in while they set the lighting and they accidentally filmed and released the movie.

Anyway… Lionsgate made the film (maybe it was ‘bring your nephew to the board meeting’ day when this was greenlit) and because the market it a tricky bitch they’ve decided to test the VOD waters and experiment a little with this John Singleton nightmare of an error.

It’ll be interesting to see where this leads. No it will not. It will absolutely not be interesting.

For the alarmingly low price point of $6.99 for Standard Def and $7.99 for High Def you can avoid watching a boy run around like a man.