You can’t keep a good Cimmerian down, or so the saying goes. That one I just made up.

According to The Arnold Fans, whenever Arnold Schwarzenegger decides the people don’t want him in office anymore, he’ll pick up the sword again for the role that made him famous and star in not one, but two new Conan movies. The rumor they’re apparently hearing is that the Wachowskis will direct and produce Conan the Conqueror, and then John Milius will come in and bat clean-up with King Conan.

Now, a couple of things make this report highly suspicious. For one, we heard Warner Bros. had put the property into deep storage and all but kicked John Milius out of the studio, so even though he’s long been associated with the character and reportedly wrote a great script, it doesn’t seem too likely he’d rush back to the property. And I know the Wachowskis have a minor bit of heat with V for Vendetta, but at the moment Schwarzenegger isn’t exactly what anyone would consider a reliable Hollywood commodity. This "new" info sounds like someone did a search for "Conan" in the Variety archives and didn’t bother to check the dates. Hell, at one point there was speculation that Robert Rodriguez would direct and wrestler Triple H would take over the role.

But the most dubious bit of their report is that Arnold will supposedly use fellow worn-out action star Sylvester Stallone’s line of InStone nutrition products to kick his post-gubernatorial body back into enemy-crushing condition. And we all know nobody actually uses that shit.