Years ago when I’d spin Ice Cube’s AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted or The Predator, I got the impression that he possessed a significant amount of what is commonly referred to as “cred”. However, since then Cube has evolved into a “playa”, with his eye strictly on “binnis”. And since I’m relatively certain we won’t be seeing another assignment for XXX agent Darius Stone (and I’m probably the only one disappointed by that), he’s continuing with the profitable field of innocuous “urban” comedies.
Señor Cubo is going to the head of the cash-in class with a modern remake of Welcome Back, Kotter. The 70s TV series involved a teacher who returns to an inner-city high school to handle some unruly students known as "Sweathogs", and is probably best remembered for its theme song, Gabe Kaplan’s bushy hair and mustache, and launching the career of Ron Palillo. And some other guy. Cube, who’d been eyeballing a comedy called Teacher of the Year (and is also transforming a needless remake of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House into a needless sequel to Are We There Yet?), will be busting out the ‘fro and giving lessons to a new generation of intolerable teenagers.
Despite being set up at Dimension, the remake is still planned as a School of Rock-style comedy and not the (usually intentional) horror that is synonymous with the company’s name. Tom Brady will write and produce, but unfortunately it’s the one who made The Hot Chick and not the hunky New England Patriots quarterback. At least the soundtrack should have some kickin’ Cube rhymes, like “Upya nose widda muthafuckin’ hose, yo”.