If you know Ving Rhames, or anyone who knows Ving Rhames, please try to get this important message to him:
Ving, you have not signed on to do a guest spot on Entourage, the HBO show that spent its second season making fun of how lame Aquaman is by having its lead actor star in James Cameron’s movie version. You have in fact signed on to the real Aquaman TV show. Yes, Ving, they are making an Aquaman TV show. I know, you’re thinking, “What’s next – Brother Power The Geek?”
Here’s the extent of the damage, Ving. The show will be on CW, which sounds like a network out of Nashville but is actually the new amalgamated UPN and WB networks. You’ll be playing a lighthouse keeper – I know, I can see how you thought this was all parody – who will be the mentor to Arthur Curry, aka Aquaman (Arthur Curry’s would be a good name for an Indian fish and chips place, by the way), who is being played by Will Toale, who apparently is an underwear model or something.
The show probably won’t be called Aquaman. Maybe it’ll be called Forty Fabulous Leagues Beneath the Sea or Crustacean Eye for the Black Guy. Whatever it ends up being called, I am truly sorry that you got tricked into this, Ving. This is worse than the time Zed and Maynard raped you.