I’ll start by saying that The Neurotic Monologues are dead. I’ve killed them. After almost three years, I can no longer go on with them. I’m not saying I won’t continue blogging – because I will – or that I won’t blog about TV and Film – because I will – but I desperately need to change my approach to this blog. I don’t know where it will go, but I fear it’ll get slightly more personal. But not too personal; I don’t want this to become a “Dear Diary” sort of space.
Because I’m perpetually mind-blocked, I searched for things to write about online and I came across the 30 Day Writing Challenge and the 30 Day Song Challenge. I decided to combine them and give them a go, with some disregard to their rules. So for 30 days I’ll torture you with my stupid answer to these interesting writing prompts.
Writing Challenge – Day 1: Something you’re looking forward to this year.
A fucking job. A stable job. At this point, I’ll settle for any job as long as it has nothing to do with prostitution, animal killing, cleaning toilets, or customer service. I struggled for over six years with the very unstable job I thought I always wanted to the point of making me hate it, so now I’m willing to be very unhappy as long as I get paid for it.
That’s not true. I still rather have a job I like that pays well, but I’ve lost all hope and must now settle, like most people, for a job that will at least allow me to operate through life as a functional adult.
Feeling inadequate as an adult is not the only thing that bothers me about unemployment, very casual employment, or an odd combination of both, as my case has been. I pride myself of not carrying what people think –most of the time- but it annoys me to no end when people tell me how lucky I am for not having to work, how I haven’t done enough, and how I unconsciously just don’t want a job at all. I’ve had to hear these comments for six years. It’s impossible not to be negatively affected by them.
But I can only blame myself for this. I’m the one who decided to keep my head in the clouds and blindly “follow my dreams” without any practical considerations. Hopefully I’ll find a way out this year. Hopefully.
Song Challenge – Day 1: Your favourite song
Moving on to happier things… I don’t have a single favourite song. So I’ll narrow it down to three. I told you I would break the rules!
My three choices are Depeche Mode’s Enjoy The Silence, Nine Inch Nails’ Closer, and Gary Numan’s Are Friends Electric? The very first time I heard those three songs felt like life changing moments. I know, that’s a bit overdramatic, but I can’t describe them any other way.
I can’t embed videos, so links will have to do. Sad, so sad…