Your letters. My smartass replies.Hey folks,

I want to make this a weekly, YES A WEEKLY part of the site but I can’t do it alone, no. I need YOUR HELP! So, for the love of all that is holy, click that FEEDBACK link on the bottom of every page and send me your comments, concerns, kudos, and gripes and I will address them. Note: If it’s about the ad banners covering our navigation, I’M ON IT.

Why all the CAPS? I DON’T KNOW!

there’s a message board thread HERE to pipe in as well.

Here you go…

Today’s Photo From Life:

It looks like the way nature’s inhabitants coexist, doesn’t it? But you are wrong. It’s FISH BUKKAKE.

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The Fact This Exists Is Hilarious.

"That’ll be $5.99"    "Thanks for your payment, now Yonah Burger!"


Mitch to the left!Travis writes:

Kick Devin off your site, he is an idiot. He needs to stop
his stupid little “cute” remarks because he sounds dumb. He knows
he will be at the first showing of X-3 with his little popcorn and his stupid
little grin on his face.

Nick’s Reply: Oh wait, kick him off the site? I get it, and since I know you so well and your long standing opinion has helped me so much in life, I ought to do that right now. Bottom line: Devin is better at reporting on movies than I ever was or could be. That’s all the motivation I need to keep him around. He’s fucking GOOD. And an asshole. He’s a good asshole. He takes it nice and deep and doesn’t complain when you pour Michelob Ultra on his back.


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Throat Cramming!

Mitch to the right.Rob writes:

Stop bringing your atypical liberal bullshit into
a fucking report about a few snaps of Del Toro as Che Guevera. Everyone
knows, and everyone respects your opinions.

cramming it down everyone’s throats. You’re not Alec Baldwin or Mike
Stipe. No one cares what your views are (even though I happen to agree
with you about how dumb a knee-jerk reaction is).

Enough already.

Nick’s Reply: Well, I know you’re referring to Devin’s work, but hey, it’s the way he does his thing. I insert references to creatures of yore (and from Yor) and he lashes out. Dave adds fun adjectives and stinks of tween. It’s how it is. Personally, I don’t care to hear anyone’s politics but it doesn’t taint my enjoyment of those actors or Mr. Faraci.


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I love to Watch Men.

Mitch to the left!Jérôme writes:

I’m always very impressed by your
interviews of Paul Greengrass… I just wondered if you could publish a
sort of "Greengrass for Watchmen" petition… Greengrass must be
informed Watchmen fans are wanting him to do this adaptation !

Nick’s Reply: No petitions from us. I personally cannot stand online petitions, but only because I like things that actually have some value or impact. I want Greengrass (or Aronofsky) to do it, but since I’m friends with the people making the movie (if and when it ever happens) I already know they won’t fuck it up. Just hang tight and hope WB gets off their arse. By the way, your name has some cute little added symbols. Congrats on that.


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Classic CHUD.

Mitch to the right.Matthew writes:

Hi. What happened to the list of 100 movies that need more love? It
used to be at , but that page
doesn’t load now.

Nick’s Reply: It became a CLASSIC CHUD article here: I keep wanting to do more of that stuff, but haven’t gotten around to it. I wish we had another George Merchan type guy who could come in and help kick asses with resurrecting old content and making news stuff sparkle.


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Worst Reader Ever.

Mitch to the left!Rocksca writes:

Have you mailed the tickets for Underworld 2 out yet and am I getting one. Please let me know.

Nick’s Reply: This is my least favorite screening pass person thus far. After every screening announcement, I get emails from this person expecting details on the screening, if I sent a pass, how many passes I sent, and whatnot. Not cordially, either. As if I’m REQUIRED to do it. What this person does not seem to realize is that I have THOUSANDS of passes to deal with. If one tenth of the people were as demanding and annoying as him, I’d have no time to sleep, eat, or menstruate.


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Mitch to the right.Andrea writes:

if i see anything written by you on the site, (there hasn’t been enough lately!) i always read it even if i have absolutely no interest in the subject. your flightplan/redeye battle was hilarious. thanks for making a crappy day a thousand times better.

Nick’s Reply: Very much appreciated. The response to the letter columns have been NIL, but I’m considering finding a way to involve myself in the site, if only in little doses. Then again, I may repurpose myself wholly to it if other things I’m working on take on a negative momentum. I don’t want that, though. It’ll be a grumpier Nick, that’s for sure. I’m just really excited to get cracking on stuff, you’ll see why soon enough.


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Mitch to the left!Grant writes:

Should I assume you
guys don’t reply to all the letters that hit the site? Because I’ve
written a few directly to Devin, mostly regarding how wrong-headed he was being
over a number of issues, and received less feedback than a Kenny G
concert. So when I see things like "I want to keep this column alive"
perhaps it would benefit you to review the missives received by your
cohort. There’s probably a couple metric assloads of mail you’re not
seeing there.

Nick’s Reply: Copy me on those emails. I do a letters column a lot more frequently and I can cover the stuff other folks cannot get to. As long as FEEDBACK is the subject line I keep them all for this column.


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In Defense of the Devin.

Mitch to the right.Alec writes:

I just wanted to respond to the person(Michael) on his anger over the
analogy that Devin made regarding race and homosexuals. While I agree that it
may not be the best analogy to compare the struggles of one race to the
struggles of homosexuals in today’s lanscape, Devin’s comments were more right
than wrong. Maybe a better analogy for Michael would be comparing his power on
who he is attracted to(black women) as compared to a person who is gay(someone
of the same sex). It has been my experience, and many others have seconded this,
that people don’t choose who they are attracted to. It is something that is felt
from the inside that controls it and we just act it on it. The same way that
Michael(a white man) can be attracted to and marry a women of another race is
equivalent to a gay man being attracted to other gay men. I don’t think it is a
choice. We can’t choose who we think is hot or who we think is ugly. It is
something already done for us. To dismiss homosexuality as a pure choice is
disrespectful to many people whose lives are difficult because of their
so-called choice and the ramifications that occur from that choice. While there
is nothing wrong with being gay or marrying out of race, no one can deny the
hardships that result from those actions as society is not so accepting, even
outside of Alabama. That is all I wanted to say. I hope my point made sense and
was well taken.
By the way, this is the first time I have e-mailed anything that actually
agrees with Devin, who I have previously bashed for his lukewarm receptions to
Batman Begins and Crash. I compliment him on his eloquent review and stance on
this issue. Thank you.

Nick’s Reply: Well I compare gay folks to fruits. Both are juicy, vibrant, and kept on my countertop near the window.


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Little Morphin Annie II.

Mitch to the left!Michael writes:

Power Rangers SPD, whose initials stand for "Space
Delta Patrol" actually stand for "Stupid, Pathetic and Dumb" or how negatively
they stand for. It may not be the worst Power Rangers sequel, but it is
one of the worst ever, just like most of its various predecessors, especially
even when Disney took over its franchise from Saban. The setup of the cast
of characters and the plots or storylines are so screwed up for most of the PRs
sequels that just make no sense at all. In other words, they
poured way too many stupid ideas into virtually each episode of each
sequel due to ill-preparedness of the crewmembers (i.e., writers,
actors, producers, directors, etc.). At least the Japanese
versions of the shows, otherwise known as "Sentai" are far better in terms of
storylines and setup of cast of characters than the ones adapted by Saban and
Disney. I have a feeling that the next sequel, Power Rangers Mystic Force,
would also stink the way most of the other ones did due to the lack of
serious elaboration by the production crew. I acknowledge that the PRs
series will go on and on, but I feel Disney is simply wasting their time,
money and energy in making such show that even some people call it a
rip-off since they don’t know how to manipulate borrowed ideas well enough to
make the presentation interesting. Instead of hiring actors whom many are
virtual unknowns and don’t know how to act, they should start
doing voice-overs of the Japanese version of the series each and every
year, or cancel the show altogether despite there is still a fan base out there
for it although such fan base is not as large as when the PRs
series debuted back in the early 90’s. Even most Power Rangers fans
(including many kids) would prefer to watch the Japanese-made Sentai
over PRs adapted by Saban and Disney because Sentai is more
of a true original and well-elaborated in many

Nick’s Reply: That is more energy than they devote to making Power Rangers shows. Congratulations!


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Mitch to the right.Christopher writes:

Final Destination 3 – Cool kills and filler –
that about sums this one up. Oh yeah, and boobs, there were boobs. Storyline has gotten
even more ridiculous, now with a seemingly mystical camera that has somehow
caught *vomit* “Death’s
design” *vomit*. More than
obvious buildup to their money scene with a rollercoaster (which was made back
with some blatant brand placement), but it did have some great acting (as far
as porn actors go). And there was an out of place pictoral reference to the
9-11 attack on the world trade towers. But seriously, the movie was what
it advertised, cool kills. As a bonus, I believe every death had a copious
amount of blood and icky spewed forth and landing on some innocent bystanders.
No love for CHUD at the theatre, though – not even a shout out. I
appreciate the passes and all the work you guys put into the site. Have a good

Nick’s Reply: I really want to see it, just ’cause I love the first two for what they are. I think we may see it and another flick this week to fuel the next podcast.


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Mitch to the left!

Madeline writes:

schematic try presumptuous it wangle or desirous ,
citywide be laocoon see pliable or dupe the
cod but edna not lobster may everything and
pleistocene and arbitrate in bud the connotative may
nicodemus or galena but hewett , squabble it’s
cooke it’s armament not campus ! tacit the
not exploration see oilman the

and yardstick be array a

Mr. Grunt and Point’s Reply: Oskar Schindler Tents! Grey Sausage Demigod! Fuel Smiles! It’s all FHHDYYghcghdyhc089088!

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