casCatherine Hardwicke is going to be delaying her adaptation of The Monkey Wrench Gang in order to quickly turn around Nativity – a movie about the Virgin Mary that is hoped to hit theaters this Christmas.

The Virgin Mary, for those godless heathens in the audience, is Jesus’ moms, who supposedly never slept with Joseph, Jesus’ foster dad. It’s pretty obvious that Joseph was a doofus, or that the whole Catholic church dogma on Mary was very confused – many people think that Mary was always a virgin, which is troubling when Jesus’ brother is mentioned in the Bible. A much more realistic take is that Jesus’ specific birth happened without coitus, but again, that paints Joseph as a monster chump. “You’re pregnant, and I didn’t touch you. I guess it was an Angel of the Lord!” Virgin births are pretty popular in mythology, though. Some say that the Buddha was born of a virgin birth (although it’s important to note that the virgin birth in this case means “not impregnated by a man” as opposed to “married to a dumbshit who was ok with never fucking her”).

Anyway, I doubt that Nativity is going to be dealing with the mythology of Mary’s virginity. Although who knows – the film is a spec script bought by New Line, and the hiring of Hardwicke, who directed Lords of Dogtown and the young girl sex movie Thirteen, and whose Monkey Wrench Gang is based on a way lefty, smash the system novel (which I am so bummed is being delayed. This is the moment for a film like that – a well done version could send seismic waves through a very fed up youth culture), isn’t the choice I would make if I were chasing the Passion of the Christ crowd. This is turning into a project to watch.