It seems I’ve managed to reconcile with myself the coming wave of board game movies before even the studios have, as news about the dozen or so different properties that were one time or another optioned or starting development has slowed to a trickle. Battleship has long been on course, and the Candyland writers recently opened up about the project a little bit, but it’s yet to feel like studios across the world are filling up with over-sized squares, tokens, and bonus cards.
What the fuck Hollywood? I’ve been ready to burn it all down for a while now- will you hurry up and sent this industry into a tailspin already, so we can do this shit and bring on the beautiful, fiery end of all things?
At least someone is writing Risk.
What’s funny is that Risk has sat untouched for nearly two years since first being optioned, despite being the one board game invented by a Palme d’Or winning filmmaker. You may know Albert Lamorisse for directing the beautiful The Red Balloon, which along with the french prize won a screenwriting Oscar. Will recently hired screenwriter John Hlavin win anything for his Risk script? Who knows- the guy made the blacklist with The Gunslinger, and he’s a writing veteran of The Shield. Of his feature-length screenplays though, we’re unfortunately closest to seeing his work on Underworld: New Dawn flicker out on January 20th.
While there’s absolutely zero irony in my desire to see a true-blue Candyland film that’s essentially a Lord of the Rings clone set in chocolate and sugar, I must admit there’s a smidgen of irony involved in my desire to see an outright, hardcore war film fought by 6-foot tall, brightly colored plastic triangles. I know some sets use tiny plastic soldiers, or wooden cubes, but I’ve always been found of the odd little triangles and stars from the set I grew up with, so that’s what I want goddammit.
Risk is a Sony joint so we’ll keep an eye out on their reaction to the script, which will probably be evident by whether or not another two years passes before we hear anything.
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