casWill Tom Hanks be starring in Star Trek XI?

That’s what some blog called Sci-Fi Heaven, whose masthead is made up of the faces of people who I have never seen before in my life but are apparently involved in sci-fi and who appear to be basking in the Lord’s afterlifey glow, is telling us. And what every single site – even usually responsible CHUD.com – is picking up. Why? Because it’s a damn slow time for legit news.

Hanks is apparently a Star Trek fan – IMDB, the greatest bastion of accuracy this side of the atomic clock, tells me that he was up for the Zephram Cochran role in Star Trek: First Contact and really, really wanted it, but opted to make That Thing You Do! instead (my verdict – good choice, That Thing You Do! is an underrated little gem of a movie. There hasn’t been a good Star Trek since VI, and that Die Hard on the Enterprise installment was balls). And as we know the guy writing Star Trek XI, Erik Jendresen, wrote some of Hanks’ Band of Brothers mini-series. OMG, it’s like a conspiracy.

And so Sci-Fi Heaven is saying that a scooper has told them that if Jendresen’s script is chosen, and if Paramount even bothers making an 11th (!) Star Trek, Hanks would be sought to star. See, now we’re getting to the center of this. The studio hasn’t even greenlit the film. They’re not sure they want to make it. And I doubt they’re casting it in any seriousness. What’s probably happening is some guy in the halls of Paramount said, “Hey, wouldn’t it be amazing to get Tom Hanks as the new Star Trek captain?” But every movie has that! Every movie wants Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise to star. I am sure both those dudes have been mentioned by some guy at some point for a role in a Star Trek film as well.

So there you have it, the last stupid rumor of 2005. I expect 2006 to be filled with more, and bigger, stupid rumors.