STUDIO: Warner Bros.
MSRP: $28.98
• Additional Scenes with Optional Commentary
• “Pass the Beef” Gag Reel
• Theatrical Trailer

I guess the secret’s out: I am’s resident Diane Lane fetishist. Hell, there are worse jobs. I could be Jack’s raging bile duct.

The Pitch

“Let’s tell a story about real people in real relationships. Wow, that’s hard. Let’s do this instead.“

"How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?"

The Humans

Diane Lane (Streets of Fire), John Cusack (Hot Pursuit), Dermot Mulroney (Living In Oblivion), Elizabeth Perkins (Big), Stockard Channing (Six Degrees of Separation), Christopher Plummer (Dreamscape)

The Nutshell

Sarah (Lane) and Jake (Cusack) are both recent divorcees with great hair, picturesque hobbies, and living arrangements that far outclass their apparent sources of income. Their respective friends set them up on an Internet dating service without their knowledge. Misled by each other’s phony online profiles, they get off to a rocky start. They meet again but Sarah, intimidated by Jake’s emotional openness, considers throwing down with ladies’ man Bob (Mulroney) instead. Don’t get your hopes up, Bob. You’re billed below the title.

Here, puss puss…

The Package

Anamorphic transfer, letterboxed to 2.35:1. Dolby 5.1. Kind of overkill for a small character comedy, but I suppose it reflects the Doctor Zhivago reference that runs throughout.

The extras are few, but illuminating: writer/director Gary David Goldberg (a Family Ties veteran) provides commentary on four deleted scenes, in which he indirectly reveals that the final film was substantially altered from his original conception. The theatrical trailer also contains much deleted and alternate footage. The blooper reel is basically one blooper, but it’s a pretty funny one.

"Is that your hand?"

The Lowdown

Sometimes name casting can be a curse. The story’s supposed to be about Sarah and how her large Irish family rallies around her, but the minute Jake shows up it’s obvious that he’s the romantic lead and that he’ll get the girl—not because of anything in the script, but because he’s John Cusack. From that point on it’s just a matter of sitting through the rest of the movie waiting for it to happen. And I’m talking 80 minutes of best-friends-giving-bad-advice scenes, and bizarre-pop-culture-reference scenes, and unfortunate-misunderstanding scenes, and very little of the two leads actually appearing onscreen together. There’s also quite a bit of blatant stealing from When Harry Met Sally. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the delicate touch of Nora Ephron.

"Wait– Grosse Pointe Blank was how many years ago?"

5 out of 10