know, I know – you’re saying, ‘How on Earth could White Noise 2 be worse than the original? That one had Michael Keaton getting bodyslammed by ghosts!’

I would have agreed before today. White Noise 2, which won’t even be a real sequel to that awful, atrocious picture, may have a shot at being worse than the original due to the director hired – Patrick Lussier.

Not ringing any bells? Let me list some of his cinematic accomplishments. Dracula 2000. Dracula II: Ascension. Dracula III: Legacy. Oh yes. THAT Patrick Lussier.

White Noise 2, which will begin filming soon in Vancouver, is about a man who comes back from the brink of death when his whole family is murdered. He discovers that now he can tell who is going to die, but that it’s not Patrick Lussier. This is why it’s a horror movie.

Sorry, that was uncalled for. By taking that shot I have probably guaranteed Lussier a directorial gig on Meg 2: Primal Waters.