Sorry, even if ya wanna buy it I don't know where to direct ya! BUY IT AT AMAZON IF YOU CAN: THERE’S NO LISTING!
STUDIO: Buena Vista
RATED: Unrated
RUNNING TIME: 76 Minutes

The Pitch

"Okay, we all know the story of the Three Wise Men. Let’s make a movie about it." "OH! Instead of that, let’s make a prequel!" "Great Idea, Bob!"

The Humans

Martin Sheen, Emilio Estevez, Jaci Velasquez, Marcos Witt, Lupillo Rivera and others.

You call that a beard?
"Oh young man, you may technically have a beard. But aye, you’re not bearded. I’m bearded."

The Nutshell

Melchior, Gaspar and Balthazar follow a star to find the three treasures meant for the as-of-yet unborn Jesus. Danger and action ensues (?).

The Package

Cover-art is comprised of floating heads surrounding the Nativity Scene. It’s got a nice tone and is well-made…for a floating head poster. It also notes mentioning that the image posted above is in fact not the cover art, but it’s the only image I could find on the net. This disc is apparently not in wide release – if in any release at all. Visually it’s nice, with a 1.78:1 Widescreen transfer, vivid colors and crisp animation. Not a demo disc by any means, but it’s definitely pretty. Audio is pretty much the same. Dolby 5.1 track, which lets all of the voices and environmental sounds come through evenly whil allowing the action and magical sound effects to rumble and or sparkle. It’s nicely mixed. For features? Nothing. Maybe watching it will get you closer to Jesus? Hey – ya never know.

The Lowdown

I was slightly concerned when I first got this to review. As I’m not what you would call a religious scholar (or a religious anything, for that matter), I wasn’t sure if I would be able to distinguish what was faithful from what was cinematic. However, after reading quite a few Wiki articles I was surprised to find that this isn’t the original story at all. The original story (as was interpreted by me from reading the Wiki article) didn’t really give any details of their journey. They saw the star, interpreted it as the coming of Christ (they were astrologers) and traveled to Bethlehem to worship and give gifts (gold, frankincense and myrrh). So, if you’ve ever wondered about the origins of the "Three Kings," then I guess this is the movie for you.

"Umm…hey Gaspar. Does that say Men or Women?"
"I…I don’t know."

Apparently, our three heroes weren’t just astrologers. They were also inventors and, gasp, wizards. Yeah – wizards. With magic wands. Who could levitate. Not only that, but they didn’t know (or really like) each other. Gaspar is an arrogant ass, Melchior is a greedy, gluttonous guy, and Balthazar is like the voice of reason. Another thing that struck me as odd is that they didn’t even know that they were to give any gifts. They didn’t find that out until after they had seen Herod, and another wizard told them that they were the chosen ones who were to find The Royal Treasures (the three gifts). So this is, in essence, a road movie, as the main brunt of the story focuses on their journey to find the Royal Treasures. In the end, none of it really matters as it’s not like they’re changing anything from historical accounts. But the addition of some of the elements and characters seems a little reckless, especially considering some of the elements (i.e. – the wizardry) might just piss off a good portion of the target audience. Oh – is it a good movie? Not really. It sells itself as a biblical tale, but the religious elements are very base and aren’t really even talked about that much. It’s almost like Jesus is an afterthought.

So really, in essence, the title alone makes it inaccessible to non-religious people, and the content really isn’t religious enough for the religious people. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised you can’t find it on Amazon.

4.0 out of 10