STUDIO: Disney
MSRP: $19.99
RATED: Unrated
RUNNING TIME: 63 Minutes
Phil of the Future Episode
Music Video

The Pitch

"Gang, the Holidays are here. Let’s get started on those little sample discs to be packaged in with our other titles." "Ummm, sir? I know I’m just an intern and all, but I’m pretty sure you could make some money if you sold these discs separately. Those people will buy anything." "Hmmm…alright gang, say hello to your new Vice President of Home Entertainment. What’s your name again, son?"

This Is Me
Knowing her career would soon be over, Ashlee started training for her future of singing for her supper.
She would eventually starve.

The Humans

Hillary Duff (Lizzie McGuire), Raven Symone (That’s So Raven), Shia LeBouf (Even Stevens), Dylan & Cole Sprouse (The Suite Life of Zack & Cody), Christy Carlson Romano (Kim Possible)

The Nutshell

Christmas-themed episodes of six of The Disney Channel’s Original Series. The real nutshell? Commercialism, baby. Pure & Simple.

The Package

The cover is not only uninspired, but it’s also quite bland. The main stars of the featured series laid onto a red background, framed by a Christmas ribbon. Disney Channel Holiday on a red Tree Ornament. It looks like it would make a sufficient menu design but is rather lazy for cover art…even for the Disney Channel. You’ve also got Dolby Digital Stereo and a 1.33:1 fullscreen presentation. They’re going to look and sound exactly the same as they did the last 100 times they aired on TDC.

On his test run, Santa forgot to account for the Smith’s remodeling of their home.

For the features, there’s a music video by some pre-pubescent band called fan_3. The song is some weak little 12-year old white kid rap about why he likes Christmas. It’s like 45 seconds long and is completely useless. There’s also a Christmas themed episode of Phil of the Future. As far as I can tell, the only reason it’s a "Special Feature" is because it’s a never-before-seen episode. As far as the episode itself? Undecipherable. Time Travel is complicated enough to explain coherently in an adult’s movie. They butcher it here. No wonder why it’s never aired before.

The Lowdown

Unlike the Disney Princess Disc I just got through reviewing, this is nothing but Holiday Opportunism. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but damn – put in some effort. As far as the episodes, they vary from celebrations of spoiled-brattery to nice, respectful Holiday Themes. Raven ruins her Christmas Present because she opens it early, then skips school to replace it, Lizzie McGuire’s Holiday Float is a bust until Steven Tyler (?!) shows up to save the day, Zack & Cody deal with their parent’s divorce (and help a lady give birth!), the Even stevens kid has a Hanukkah version of "It’s A Wonderful Life" and Kim Possible tries to stop an evil villain, who ends up converted by a television Snow-Man (this is probably my favorite of the disc, mainly because I like Will Friedel and it doesn’t try to push any agenda other than "Happy Holidays"). The cover says these episodes were the favorites of the series’ stars, but there’s no evidence of that on the disc. If this was true surely they could have added a little introduction by the stars themselves. Lord knows they don’t have that much else to do. In the end there’s really no reason to pay full price for this disc. I can guarantee you’ll see them on TDC in the next month or so…probably more than once. Fire up your DVR or your VCR and save yourself twenty bucks. Yeah – twenty dollars. Merry Christmas, indeed.

Looks like that mannequin kid is back at it.

2 out of 10