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STUDIO: Warner Bros.
RATED: Unrated
MSRP: $17.49
302 Minutes
Redneck Dictionary

The Pitch

"These Blue Collar assholes are the biggest thing going right now. Give em a show and cash the fuck in before people realize what in the blue hell they’re watching."

The only thing more original would be a "What’s the number for 911" joke.

The Humans

Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Larry Cable Guy and host of co-stars who I’m assuming are only in it for the paycheck.

The Nutshell

There really isn’t a nutshell as this is a sketch show. Basically, you got these three guys doing stupid shit for half an hour. It’s supposed to be funny, and to some people it probably is, but really – it’s not.

The Package

As with a lot of other TV sets, you got a gatefold in a slipcase. The three main guys are standing in front of a wooden fence, a-la King of the Hill. For some odd reason they added an outer glow to Jeff though. It’s kinda…I dunno…creepy. The video transfer is standard for a TV series (especially a newer one) and the audio is the same. They gave it a Dolby 2.0 track, which is fine with me as I’d hate to think someone wasted the time to program a 5.1 track for this crap. Features include a behind the scenes featurette that shows the rest of the ensemble either a) kissing up because the bosses are there or b) actually getting all masturbatory over this show and the jokes. I prefer to believe it’s the former. There’s also the Hatfield-McCoy Redneck Dictionary. The first time I heard this on Foxworthy’s debut album, I laughed a little (granted, I was 13 at the time – I laughed at a lot of stupid shit). Now I’m just dumbfounded that this is still as popular as it is. And you can tell they reached for some of these ("Sorry, I just can’t get disdain out of the sofa" Disdain = this stain. Unfuckingbelieveable). It’s horrible.

Well son of a bitch.
(And for the record – this gag goes on for two full minutes.)

The Lowdown

The Blue Collar Guys have gotten their fair share of discussion here on the CHUD boards so what I’m about to say is probably something that’s been said before. This show is complete and utter horseshit (Yeah I’m from the south too).

Now don’t get me wrong – I laughed quite frequently at the original Blue Collar Comedy Tour Movie. Well, mainly at Engvall’s bit and slightly at Ron White’s. I’m actually a fan of Bill Engvall’s stand-up and highly recommend his Dorkfish album to anyone who’s willing to check it out. However, I cannot stand Jeff Foxworthy. That man has built a career and made millions of dollars off of 6 words that were sorta funny the first three times you heard them. His stand-up is not funny, his voice is squeaky and weird and he has all the insight and originality of that old "Hundred Greatest Dirty Jokes" book you found in your dad’s closet when you were ten. Oh and he recycles bits from his first fucking album in more than one episode of this show. That leaves Larry the Cable Guy. Son of a bitch do I hate Larry the Cable Guy. This is a man who makes a living being a completely stereotypical ass. And people eat this shit up. And not just northern people who like to make fun of stupid rednecks. Actual stupid rednecks love this too, which leads one to believe that either a) they’re too dumb to realize that Larry the Cable Guy is an act, a persona, and that they’re being made fun of, or b) they do know, they don’t care and what’s worse – they’re proud of it. Larry’s kinda like the idiot redneck equivalent of Tommy Davidson in Bamboozled, only while Womack realized he sold his soul and hated himself for it, Larry revels in this shit.

Truth revealed
A rare glimpse inside the Blue Collar Tour Bus

And that’s what this show is – gratingly horrible stereotypical "humor." The jokes are elementary at best – the kind of stuff I laughed at when I was in middle school, and not very hard at that. For example, one of the recurring gags in the show is the "Big Kids" skit, in which the three main guys are dressed in children’s style clothing and the set piece is a huge back seat of a car, with Larry as the baby in the child restraint seat. There’s the standard "He’s hitting me" and "He’s looking at me" stuff that, honestly, is almost disturbing to see being done and said by grown men. And do you wanna know what the big laugh-getting line is in every single one of these skits? Larry the Cable Guy saying "I made brown" in a baby voice. And it’s just like this all through the show. Whether it’s the hilarity of talking about how big or small your deck is (‘cause deck sounds really close to dick so it’s funny because it’s got a high-school penile subtext to it), or giving driving directions in regards to what part of the Lynyrd Skynyrd album will be playing when you get to the road you need ("…if you get to Free Bird, and I’m serious about this, you’ve gone too far." Seriously – what the fuck). It never fucking stops. I don’t know, maybe I’m being too hard on it, but as a decently educated, well-mannered (if not a little foul-mouthed), slightly cultured guy who was born, raised and has lived in the same Texas town all of my life, it makes me sad that these are the guys who represent my side of the Mason-Dixon Line to the rest of the world. *sigh*

0 out of 10